54BREAKING NEWS
DRACULA IN GENSOKYO?
Last night, we were all rudely awoken by a large explosion that shook the valley, almost destroying several nearby buildings. The source of this explosion was the infamous Scarlet Devil Mansion, which was leveled by the blast.
On the way to the scene, yours truly was attacked by Yukari Yakumo's shikigami, who prevented me from reaching the SDM for a while. After I was joined by the Hakurei Miko and the thief Marisa Kirisame, however, we easily defeated them and were able to get the scoop that headlines this very article.
We found the occupants of the SDM unharmed despite their home being destroyed. When asked why the SDM blew up, Remilia responded by saying: "This is what happens when my father pays a visit. That right Marisa, tremble in fear, for Vlad Dracul Tepes lll has returned!" Marisa, for the record, was not trembling in fear. When asked were Dracula was, Remilia admitted to not knowing. There was an exchange of harsh words between Ms. Scarlet and Reimu before the Miko stormed off in a huff, taking Marisa with her. Everyone else present seemed to verify this story in one way or another, except for Flandre Scarlet.
When Flandre was asked as to what happened, she only commented by saying: "Sis screwed up a birthday present." Before rushing off to play in the forest with the mansions gatekeeper Meiling. This leaves me to believe that Remilia may have just blown up her house for attention. We all know that her birthday is coming up, and that she's been hyping it since her last one. This could be a way to advertize for the event. This is a controversial tactic, but we all know that there is no such thing as bad publicity.
Everyone refused to comment on Yukari's involvement, however, and so that part of the story is left to speculation. If Dracula really has come to Gensokyo to pay a family visit, then he may still be around. We should all be on the lookout for a man that looks like a Vampire, which shouldn't be to hard since there are very few men in the entire valley. Seriously, I saw a bathroom that was labeled 'Rinnosuke' instead of 'Men' once, though I believe I've already done a piece on that.
Many things remain unanswered, but I shall get to the bottom of this! No rock will be left unturned, and I will find out if Dracula is really here! You have my word as a reporter of the Bunbunmaru Newspaper that by the end of this investigation I will have the truth! This is Aya Shameimaru, signing off once more.
Girlycard pulled the newspaper from his face, wincing as the total darkness he was experiencing was replaced by blinding sunlight, and placed it beside him. He was sitting on a bench in the middle of a lush green park. A small sparkling river of water flowed through the clearing and into a pond, which was filled with blossoming lily pads, cattail, and koi fish. Sitting next to the pond were three short figures with fairy wings.
"I don't know. Do you guy's believe that Dracula really came to Gensokyo?" One fairy, who had four white triangular wings, a white dress decorated with several black bows, and curly light brown hair asked her companions as she folded her newspaper.
At those words, a fairy who had aqua colored hair, a dark blue jumper dress, and ice-sicles for wings stood up and thrust her chest out proudly. "I don't know much, but I know one thing for certain. If Dracula's around, he's gonna have to answer to me for waking us all up last night!"
"Yeah! You go Cirno!" Said the third fairy, who had lime green hair, a light blue dress, and golden wings.
"Thats right!" Cirno said, forming a snowball out of thin air. "No one can stand a chance against Gensokyo's strong-" The ice fairy was cut short as something long and red shot out from the pond, snatched her up, and dragged her into the water.
"Wha… Oh not again!" The first fairy stood up, setting her newspaper on the ground. "Cirno wasn't freezing the frogs again! We swear!"
"Yeah come on! Let her go you big bully!" The third fairy shouted, shaking her fist as she did so. "You're fixing yourself up for indi… Indu…
Girlycard's eyes drifted from the fairy's to the sky. A gentle breeze floated through the air, carrying the sound of a wind chime through the air and drowning out the commotion. He sat there peacefully for a couple seconds. Then, he sighed, rubbing his eyes and grumbling grumpily. Girlycard neatly folded his newspaper, then placed it inside his coat. He then bent down to pick up a gas-filled jerry can that had been sitting at the foot of the bench and sat up, putting free hand into his coat pocket.
He drowsily, but steadily, walked away. Girlycard followed a dirt path into a forest and continued for hours. He passed cottages, shrines dedicated to Gods he'd never heard of, rice fields, and even an entire village occupied by Humans. The buildings he encountered seemed to be dominantly asian.
Occasionally someone, whether they were Youkai, Human, or Fairy, would see Girlycard and try and strike up a conversation with him. He would promptly pretend like they didn't exist and stare unblinkingly ahead.
As he reached the end of the path, which led to a hill covered in Cherry Blossom tree's, the sun started to set. Girlycard stopped to watch it sink lower and lower into the sky. Eventually it disappeared over the horizon, blanketing the valley in darkness. A cold, bitter, soulless wind blew around him as he gazed at the spot where the sun had set. As a full blue moon rose behind him, Girlycard took a deep breath, inhaling calmly, then exhaling a pale blue mist. His eye's lit up red, and he smiled once more.
"Next!" Meiling announced, placing the invitation she'd just received in a small box that sat on a table beside her. She was tending to the line of people that was forming at the Scarlet Devil Mansion's gate. It was Remilia's birthday.
After Sakuya had scolded Remilia thoroughly, which had taken almost 30 minutes, she had used her space and time manipulation abilities to rebuild the mansion. So, in the end, it turned out that blowing up the mansion didn't hinder the party preparations that much.
"Come on, let's keep it moving. We don't have all night." Meiling said, then raised a suspicious eyebrow at the person who'd just stepped up.
It was a woman with long golden hair and eye's. She wore a black witch's costume and hat, and carried a broom, of which she had propped up on her shoulders. Marisa Kirisame.
"Hey there Meil-" Marisa began.
"No." Meiling replied.
"Wha-"
"Patchouli doesn't have replacements for her books right now. No."
"Hey now, this ain't about the books. It's about the party!" Marisa took out an invitation and waved it in Meiling's face.
"Stolen, I'm sure." Meiling replied, brushing the invitation away. "Next!"
Marisa slouched down and pouted dramatically before walking away.
Meiling sighed in relief as she watched the magician go, only to raise both her eyebrows at the person who had stepped up next. It was another woman, this time a Youkai. Her blue shirt, which was decorated with pink heart buttons that matched her skirt, was wrapped in red cords, which all converged on a singular large eye that floated over the left side of her chest. Her short purple hair was a mess, and her purple eye's were calm, but twitching. Satori Komeiji.
"Yes, Remilia seems to have given everyone in Gensokyo an invitation." Satori answered Meiling's question before she could ask it. She then showed the gatekeeper her invitation. "Can I go now? I need to get away from that guy." She said, glancing behind her.
"Uh… Yeah. Sure." Meiling took the invitation.
"Thanks. I'll be hiding at the punch bowl." Satori said, half jogging to the door.
Meiling rubbed her head in confusion, realizing that she was now holding two invitations instead of one, before placing them into the box. She then looked up to see Alucard looming over her.
"GAH! What are you still doing here?!" Meiling shouted, leaping back into a battle stance.
"Relax. My intentions are much less sinister this time." Alucard replied, reaching into his coat and pulling out the letter he'd received from Remilia. "This was an actual invitation, wasn't it?"
Meiling stood there for a moment staring at the invitation. She then walked back up to Alucard and took the letter, looking it over to see if it was valid. "How the heck did you get an invitation?"
"It was what lured me to this place the first time." Alucard explained, glancing over Meiling to see that Marisa was inching silently along the wall towards the gate. She gave him a cocky thumbs up.
Meiling read it over once more, then an unsure smile creeped its way onto her face. "Wow. That's… Kinda hilarious." Then, instead of putting the invitation into the box, she gave it back to Alucard. "You're cleared. Just don't make Flan blow the place up again, ok? We don't need Sakuya throwing another tantrum."
"No promises." Alucard replied, pocketing the invitation and walking past Meiling.
"Oh dear." Said Meiling worriedly.
Alucard walked through the entrance of the SDM. Inside was the ballroom. The crystal chandelier above shone brightly, illuminating the entire room. The place was packed with people, and divided into two sections. The left half was peaceful, posh, and littered with circular dining tables. People were either sitting in a circle and talking, or standing in a circle and talking. Satori had a 10 foot circle around her in which no one stepped foot, and was enjoying having the entire punch bowl all to herself.
The right side, however, was a hardcore drinking contest filled with drunken shouts and laughing. There was only one long table that was filled with alcohol of every kind, but mostly Sake.
Sakuya was teleporting around, restocking the booze and acting as a waiter. She was the only staff member present, and the only staff member needed.
"They there! Thanks for not rattin' me out ze~!" Marisa said, walking up to Alucard. "Say, there anythin' you want from the library?"
"No, thank you. I already have the book I need, ze~" Alucard replied.
Marisa's face suddenly went from joy to suspicion. "Hold on just a minute. You're a guy… A guy going to Remilia's party… And who isn't Rinnosuke… Oh shi-"
Alucard placed a hand on Marisa's head and slowly moved her to the side. The entire room went silent, then turned to stare at the Vampire standing at the doorway. There was a long moment of silence, which Marisa somehow disappeared in. It was broken by two things.
The first was because of a ghost, who was wearing a blue and white kimono, rising out of the floor near the punch bowl. The ghost then snatched up a plate of cookies and exclaimed: "OOoooo! My favorite!" Before beginning to down the entire plate. This prompted a chuckle from everyone on the left side.
The second was a needlessly loud, over exaggerated, extraordinarily long burp from a drunk Oni, which caused everyone on the right side to break out into roaring laughter.
Alucard smiled as the walked down the middle of the room, the party continuing like normal. He spotted Remilia sitting at a table at the base of the stairs. She was wearing a sparkly black and red dress, along with a matching ribbon on her head instead of the regular mop-cap. Her hair had turned a light blue, and her wings were now smaller, and were barely the length of her arms. She smiled back at Alucard and leaned back into her chair as he reached her.
"I see the guest of honor has finally arrived." Remilia said. "Took your time, didn't you?"
"Guest of honor?" Alucard scoffed. "I think not. I am here on official business."
"Oh? Here to try and kill me again?" Remilia asked. "That will go REALLY well with everyone here."
Alucard smirked. "No. I'm here to give you this." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box that was wrapped in red paper, which looked like it had been dumped in glitter.
"You got me a present?!" Remilia exclaimed. "Official business my ass! Let me have that." She snatched the present from Alucard's grasp and started tearing into it.
"It's more of a peace offering really." Alucard explained.
Remilia reached for what was inside the box and pulled it out excitedly. She stared at the stack of books she now held, then gave a surprised yelp as her hands started to burn. The books landed on the table, revealing themselves to be the entire Twilight saga.
"Stephenie Meyer?! Why the Hell would you eve-" Remilia was cut off as Alucard slammed the jerry can he'd been carrying on the table. He then reached into his coat and pulled out a lighter, flicked it open, then sparked it twice.
Remilia stared at the lighter for a second, then grinned evilly. "Sakuya!"
"Yes mistress?" Sakuya appeared right next to Alucard.
"Unlit bonfire in the courtyard!" Remilia requested.
"Certainly." Sakuya replied, disappearing again.
"Come on!" Remilia became a blur of motion, blowing past Alucard and taking jerry can, the lighter, the books, and his tie with her. Wind blasted out of a doorway that had suddenly opened beneath the stairs. An amused smirk worked it's way onto Alucard face before he followed, calmly walking towards the door.
The courtyard was just how it had been two nights before. The only change was that there was now a huge stack of logs in the center of it. Remilia, using Alucard's tie as a glove, had already placed the books on the top of the pile, and was currently fiddling with the jerry can.
"This things full of flammable liquid, right?" Remilia asked, screwing the can's cap the wrong way.
"Gasoline, yes." Alucard confirmed.
"AH HA! I knew it!" Remilia twisted the cap harder, bending the can's nozzle out of shape. Irritation flashed across Remilia's face, and she instead flew above the pile of logs and ripped the jerry can in half, spraying gasoline all over it. She then landed next to Alucard, pulled out the lighter, flicked it open, and pointed it towards the pile. Remilia sparked it twice. Then again. Then again. "It doesn't shoot fire?" Remilia said with disappointment.
Alucard took the lighter, lit the ignition, and a small controlled flame popped into existence. He then tossed the lighter into the pile, which lit up like a match.
"Wow. That's boring. We should have just blown it up." Remilia said.
Alucard did not reply, but instead stood and watched as the fire, turned green from the ink, swallowed the books. There were a couple minutes of silence before he spoke again. "Integra has sent me to inform you that you and your sister will be listed under 'Not a threat', since you do not prey upon the citizens of England and since I am no longer that perturbed by your misuse of my name." Alucard informed her. "Consider yourself lucky. There's only one other Vampire on that list."
"I don't know whether or not to be happy or insulted." Remilia replied, pulling out a small, pocket sized, polished wooden box. She then handed it to Alucard. "Apparently my Asian neighbors have a tradition of giving things away when it's their birthday. I've been keeping ahold of this thing for quite a while now."
Alucard raised his eyebrow at Remilia as he undid the golden latch on the box. He then removed the lid, his eyes widening. There, sitting in the padded crimson silk interior of the box, was a perfectly shined silver cross. Part of the top and side of the cross was missing, due to the axe that had hit it centuries ago. Alucard grabbed it gently and brought it up to his face. He stared at it as nostalgia dominated him for a moment, then closed his eyes and sighed. "I cannot accept this gift."
"Huh?" Remilia said in alarm.
"This was Vlad's, not mine." Alucard replied, putting the cross back into the box and tossing it to Remilia. "Keep it. It's yours now." He then turned to walk away.
"Wha- Hey! Where are you going?!" Remilia shouted, clearly panicked by this sudden development.
"You play your childish games, Remilia, and I'll play mine." Alucard said. "This is the last time we will meet. It seems my past has caught up with me. It won't be long now."
Remilia looked like she was about to speak, then hesitated before shaking her head. Then, she smiled. "Just up going on me huh? It was nice while it lasted, father."
Alucard stopped just before he hit the wall of the courtyard. He then looked back at Remilia, giving her a massive grin. "Don't push it." He then disappeared into the wall like a ghost, never to be seen by Remilia again.
-The End
