1Early Morning
SUMMARY: It was the last day of the year, and this happened.
A/N: It's New Year and I'm posting an angsty story. Nice. But to be very honest with you guys, this is a true story. I won't tell you whose true story this is—it might be mine, it might not be—but I have learned something from this. By writing this, it means that 2015 is nothing but a memory to me. Ended, sadly, but there's still room for new beginnings, no?
WARNING: It has been a very long while since I've written angst. Bear with me please—this might not reach your expectations.
DISCLAIMER: Kleia does not own Fairy Tail. Hiro Mashima does.
December 31, 2015. 3:02 AM.
She knew it was going to happen—someday, at an unexpected time or place. She knew. She knew she knew she knew. All her midnight thoughts—lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with her hands on her stomach and her mind mentally somewhere, it would always cross her mind. She knew it was going to happen.
But she would never know how it was going to feel.
But now she knows.
And she's empty. She's numb. Something had just died inside of her. But she didn't know what it was—she didn't want to know.
She stared at the message once again, the light illuminating her indifferent face. She was surprised herself that she didn't cry. She felt strong yet confused. Shouldn't she feel her heart break into tiny little pieces? Shouldn't she be bawling her eyes out, telling—no, pleading him to think it through? Shouldn't she be throwing her phone against the wall? Shouldn't she feel completely broken? Worthless? Helpless?
"I'm sorry for thinking that I could handle the risk that I was willing to take." It read.
She read it over and over and over again until all her mind saw were those words all she could hear were his voice taunting her with those words and slowly she started to feel everything so deeply. So very deeply that she was drowning but she can't feel the burning sensation of her lungs.
It took her all her power and courage to text him back: "You are forgiven. Tomorrow is a new year, a new beginning. I hope that"
What does she hope for?
Her mind is completely shambled that she can't form proper words from defending their relationship for so long. But she knew he was right. She just didn't want him to go. She didn't want it to end. Not just yet. Not when everything was perfect. She can't just let go of that rope that she's been holding on for so long. She just can't. She can't afford to lose him and she hated herself for it.
I hope that this is all a nightmare and I would wake up tomorrow, seeing your name on my phone with the words: "I love you and I'd do anything for you."
She chuckled bitterly at her wishful thoughts. Of course she can't hope for something as silly as that. This is real. She can't be dreaming about something this emotionally painful. It would be too much to take in. Too painful. Too—
But what about now? It's real. It's not a dream. He thought he could take the risks but he can't. It's real. It's not a dream.
She chuckled at the inner argument she was having.
Then dreaming about it is better. It's not real. It's just a figment of my imagination. Yes, dreaming about it would be best.
She inhaled deeply and erased her previous message. She typed a new one, her fingers slowly tapping on the letters, mentally clinging onto that sliver of hope that maybe—just maybe, he'll change his mind. She smiled halfheartedly. She should know better than that. He wasn't like that.
"It's okay. Apology accepted. You are forgiven. I hope that tomorrow will be a better day for the both of us."
Her hand holding her phone fell limp beside her, as if it weighed a thousand tons.
But it did.
"Thank you, Lucy… I hope that as well. I wish nothing but the best for us."
Her heart sank. It was settled.
"Well… good night then."
"Night Luce."
She breathed one last time before instantly turning her phone off. She collapsed back on her bed, over thinking as she stared at the ceiling with her hands on her stomach. She sighed. She wanted to scream to throw glassware and china all over her house not caring if she bleeds because of the shards because not even that can compare to what she feels right this moment.
Tears
fell
down. And she didn't know what had caused it. She knows but she doesn't want to accept it. It's over now. He's made up his mind. She knew everything about him—and there was one thing she was sure about him: he stands firm in his decisions. He never turns back. He just keeps on moving forward. She admired him for that. But now, she hated him she hated that attitude of his of not thinking twice about his choices. She hated it with every fibre of her being.
She knows she won't be waking up with a text from him or a voice message but she'll wake up knowing that he's gone. She won't be hearing his voice and seeing his face. Not anytime soon. She won't know how his day went or if he had another one of those crazy dreams he always has. She won't be facing the same person again—if they'll ever see each other again. And fuck it hurts. It hurts it hurts it hurts.
There was just too much to lose when you fall in love.
VERY LONG A/N: So happy new year everyone! Sorry if this wasn't a usual happy and filled with new beginnings kind of fic. Again, this was based on a true story (even the date was exact) and it is confidential information regarding whose this is. But don't worry, she knows I'm writing this. I'll probably tell you everything I want to tell you about this: (if you want to read the full story plus my additional thoughts, thank you. But if you don't want to, go ahead. Whatever floats your boat. I just had to let the steam off.)
So anyway, it's true. She and her guy just split up the night before New Year. Sucks, doesn't it? Apparently the guy had been overthinking about their relationship (again. She told me how many times he'd talked to her about their relationship and how insecure he felt), but this time it was something they both can't fix. They didn't fight neither did they have a misunderstanding. In fact, both of them were in the best of terms that afternoon—talking playfully, telling each other about how their day was. But cruelly so, thoughts are fleeting.
That early morning (yes around 3 am), he confessed to her than he had been thinking about their relationship. So she listened—heard him out. Turns out that the guy doesn't completely understand that Lia—let's just name her that lol this is completely random—has strict parents. You know those parents that need 2 business days just for you to go out with friends? Yes, those parents. So, the guy—Harvey (completely random again) doesn't get why they can't see each other as much as they want to. Of course, he knew it was because of Lia's parents and because of that, he thinks that maybe their relationship isn't right. That maybe they were the right thing in the wrong time. (That's what he said.) He then told Lia that it drives him crazy knowing they don't see each other everyday (see the Romeo & Juliet similarity? Even just a little, haha) because of her parents and the fact that they aren't in the same school anymore. He says he gets jealous of the thought that the boys in her school get to see her everyday and he doesn't, knowing how beautiful she is inside and out. (Yes he told her that believe me she had to show me the text message lol.)
Harvey suggested it would be best for them to remain as friends. And Lia told him to think it through. (Because thinking after 2 am doesn't make sense anymore. Your conscience is swallowed by your thoughts and emotions that you don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore. To me, that is.) Harvey then asked her how they can fix that and Lia told him its either she persuades her parents into them hanging out or they both go with it.
To Harvey, it was neither. He was clear about his thoughts and told her that they should just be friends. He told her it was for the best. So she abided by it. It was better than forcing it, she told me.
And that was how her 2015 ended. Thinking about it, IT REALLY SUCKS. I don't know but I somehow empathize with her. It sucks—celebrating New Year without the guy you will always love. It sucks that she ended the year with a heartbreak. I can only imagine. He broke her. He really did. But she knew it was indeed for the best.
"You know, it sucks. I thought I was celebrating New Year happily, without any random thoughts about him. But then I realized—it was for the best. We let each other go. Because we both knew that the right time will come. It's not today, but maybe someday. As cliché as it sounds, I know he'll come back—as a friend or as the guy that I liked—I know he'll come back, when it's the right time for him to do so. He never told me he didn't like me anymore, and I too. He only told me it was the wrong time. So I know he'll come back. Right now, I think it's supposed to happen. And actually, I'm glad that it ended today (December 31), not on New Year. I'm glad. And miraculously, I've accepted it. I haven't completely moved on yet, I know there'll just be random moments when I'll just think about that very unfortunate day and I'll just be miserable, but I know that it isn't the end yet. He let me go. And now I'm a free spirit. I knew how much it hurt him to let me go even if he insisted. So I won't take it for granted. It's New Year, and I'll shape that day into something else entirely. I'll make myself a better me. A new and improved one. I'll study more, sleep more and eat less, save more, socialize more. He taught me a lot of things—that a family can't be replaced. They are permanent in your life. That problems can lead to lessons. He taught me a lot, and so have I. We inspired each other. And now that its 2016, I'll apply all those lessons we've learned from our relationship and from ourselves, so everything we had together won't be in vain. And truthfully, I had a blast with him. He was the best. He was worth it. And I'm glad we ended knowing that all of it wasn't in vain." –Lia (I just had to basically summarize what she said lol.)
x—x—x
So again guys Happy New Year! I hope y'all are having a blast! And I hope that whatever you are planning to do in 2016 would be filled with luck and will be fulfilled. You can do it! This is a chance to prove everyone that you can change for the better. Start little by little and you'll end with a big outcome.
I hope you enjoyed the angsty story, haha! Happy New Year again!
