31PART ONE: August "Chelsea Dagger"
Maka Albarn stared, gobsmacked, at the break room fridge and the empty Tupperware container bearing her name sitting innocently within it. Not quite twenty-three, personal assistant to the vice president of sales and marketing, and enraged beyond all reason, she stared at the four letters that made up her first name in awe. They were plastered all over the container. There was no way anyone could have missed them and mistaken her container for fair game. Besides, this was the fifth time in two weeks. Even at her most forgiving there was no way Maka could deny this wasn't an honest mistake. To add insult to injury, whoever had helped themselves to her lunch had left the tiniest amount of delicious leftover pasta behind in one corner, barely enough for two mouthfuls, more than enough to be considered a taunting challenge, a brazen lack of basic human respect, a declaration of war. Maka huffed angrily and spun on her heel away from the fridge and back out into the office. She power-walked straight back to her desk and plunking down in her chair, opened up Microsoft Word.
To the person who keeps stealing my lunches (fettuccini alfredo),
This is rude and unprofessional. We are adults in a work environment, not high school students. Take responsibility for your actions and immediately modify your behaviour and stop stealing other people's clearly marked property!
Regards,
Maka
Pleased with herself, Maka promptly printed the document. Immediately after she issued the command, a small error notice appeared on her screen. Huffing, Maka clicked okay and tried again. The same error message came up. Apparently her computer had disconnected itself from the printer network again. She clicked the print option aggressively a few more times before giving up. Admitting defeat, she transferred the file to a flash drive and walked across the office to plug it into the printer manually.
"Hi, Maka, how's it going?"
Maka looked up to see sales representative Tsubaki standing in front of her. Tsubaki Nakatsukasa was twenty-six and seemed upon first impression far too kind a person to be the ruthless product pushing, client stealing, number one salesperson of Grigori Solutions. However, Maka had gotten to know her pretty well during her six months at the science equipment company and knew that however irreconcilable the two sides of Tsubaki seemed, within one woman existed both a sweet, selfless nurturer, and a force one didn't challenge lightly.
Maka sighed, "Just one of those days."
"Is it the lunch thief again?" Tsubaki leaned against the printer as Maka adjusted its settings.
"Yes! And on top of that my computer won't stay connected to anything wireless again."
"Isn't it a new computer?"
Maka sighed. "Not even a year old."
Tsubaki made a concerned noise at the back of her throat, "I guess you'll have to ask IT about it again."
Maka scrunched up her face, "Ugh, they're useless. The last guy I spoke to hung up on me as soon as he realised who I was. It took me four tries to find someone brave enough to talk to me."
Tsubaki giggled, "You know they're not all that bad. Some of them are actually quite accommodating."
Maka collected her letter to the thief and her flash drive and peered suspiciously at her friend. Tsubaki rarely used that tone of voice unless she was setting someone up on a date, and she never looked so smug about it. Maka couldn't help but be reminded of the last office party, where Tsubaki had spent an unusual amount of time missing after leaving to 'talk' with one of the guys from IT. Afterwards Tsubaki had sworn that all he'd wanted was some help fixing his hair. Apparently he may have wanted a little more than that.
"Tsu, you are not dating that loud-mouthed idiot who got in trouble for coming into work with blue hair, and then had the audacity to demand that the office compensate him for his time and hair dye costs for both the blue and the reversal, are you?"
Tsubaki shrugged.
"Tsu, no! Remember what happened to Kim when she went out with Ox! She had to transfer across the country when they broke up!"
The breakup of Kim Diehl and Ox Ford was a story that many suspected would put a pin in office relationships for years to come. They had been on-again, off-again for about as long as they'd both been at the company. It ended for good at the Christmas party, or as Maka liked to think of it, the "make-out break-out" party. If Maka hadn't been put off by relationships before then, she definitely was after.
"That's different, Maka, Kim was dating within her department and they both let the breakup impact their work. That won't happen to Black*Star and me. Besides, there's no rules against interdepartmental dating," Tsubaki smiled sheepishly. "I checked."
Maka shook her head. "Impressive planning. But what happens if you do break up? You can never get tech support again!"
Tsubaki smiled brightly. "I'll just get you to log all my problems for me. It would be more effective anyway; you've already got half of the department scared senseless! You're basically a legend."
Maka groaned. "That was one time, and Ox was asking for it the way he was carrying on!"
"The Diet Coke incident of two-thousand and thirteen is infamous! It even got everyone to stop talking about Break-Up-Gate 2k13."
Blushing slightly, Maka shook her head, "Come on, Tsubaki, it wasn't that big a deal. Ms. Mjolnir wasn't even angry with me. Besides, we should get back to work."
Tsubaki waved off her protests. "Let me know how it turns out with the lunch thief, and with IT You know, maybe a little bit of flirting might get you help faster. You win more flies with honey and all that."
Maka shook her head incredulously. "I'm not exactly sure how well that would go down."
Or rather, she did, and she'd rather not have to spend the rest of her time at Grigori Solutions trying to live it down.
"It would go down great! You're a total catch! Besides, I hear they've got some new recruits from the merger with the secondary branch down there who might not have even heard about the Diet Coke yet! I'm sure Black*Star knows someone who would be interested!"
Maka fixed Tsubaki with a stern look. "I do not need your obnoxious boyfriend to set me up. I do just fine on my own, whether you know about it or not."
Maka conveniently left out the fact that she hadn't been on a date in close to a year, but that wasn't any reflection on her capabilities if it was by choice. It wasn't that she felt she needed a relationship. She had no interest in casual dating. But even she couldn't deny that it might be nice to have someone who understood her. Still, it'd be a frigid day in hell before she admitted as much to her well-meaning but incredibly meddlesome friends.
"I'll solve my computer problem without using my feminine wiles, thank you very much."
Tsubaki chuckled knowingly and waved to Maka as they headed towards their respective desks.
Maka had been waiting in an online queue for an IT guy to be available for almost five minutes. She was still connected to the company intranet, even if she couldn't get onto any useful network. She almost considered logging off, but having to get up to manually print every document she and her boss could needed would take up even more time in the long run. That, and she refused to fall into the stereotype of an impatient Millennial. She had survived on dial-up for as long as the technology was viable; she could wait a few minutes for some IT help. Regardless of resolve, she tapped her nails against her desk impatiently, frowning at how long they had gotten. She'd have to find some time to cut them when she got home; she couldn't go to her mixed martial arts class with long nails. Her computer dinged and she turned to read the message waiting for her in the open chat box.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Hello, how can I help you?
Maka immediately typed back.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Hello, my computer won't connect to the office network or the printers, only the intra-net.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
I need some basic information to troubleshoot your problem. What's your bay number?
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
4545464
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Hello 4545464. Is there another name I can call you by? A number isn't much use beyond locating your machine.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Of course! You can call me Albarn, it's what the computer should be registered under. What should I call you?
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Soul is fine. Well, Albarn, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with your computer, but if it won't even connect to the printers then something's up. Is it plugged in?
Maka tensed. What kind of fool did this guy take her for! Of course it was plugged in, she was talking to him, wasn't she? What a typical IT attitude.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Of course it's plugged in!
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Are you sure? Sometimes the smaller wires can come loose.
She glared at her screen. Was she sure? As if anyone without a qualification in computer sciences couldn't figure out that a machine needs to be plugged in to work.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Of course I'm sure! I'm not completely incompetent!
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
No need to get defensive Albarn it happens to the best of us. :p
And now he was teasing her! Well, she'd show him. Maka quickly pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of her computer's neatly ordered cords. She sent the file over Bluetooth for good measure. That would show him!
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Attached image: "it IS plugged "
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Attaching an image, colour me impressed Albarn.
She grinned smugly to herself.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
I told you I was competent.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
I'll never doubt you again.
She bristled slightly, not sure of his intentions.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Are you making fun of me?
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Wouldn't dream of it Albarn. I'm running a more in depth system analysis to try and identify the problem now. It could take a few minutes. Do you mind waiting?
Even though he was just a stranger typing messages on a computer six floors down, she found herself inclined to take him at his word. Maka took a moment to consider her words before replying.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
You say that as if I have a choice.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
You don't, but I'm supposed to ask to be courteous; it's company policy and without company policy how could we possibly get any work done?
She smirked.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
You're joking.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Yes.
Two could play at that game.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Is that your best suggestion for how to pass the time, making sarcastic jokes?
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Actually I was going to go for my afternoon coffee, but I could be tempted to stay.
Maka's eyebrows shot up. Was he flirting with her now? When she had proudly declared to Tsubaki that she could get her own dates, she was half bluffing. She'd never really been one for flirting, let alone someone who encouraged it from strangers, but this wasn't exactly the usual stranger-in-a-bar situation. What was the harm in testing the waters and seeing where her skills were at when she was safe behind the computer screen? At the very least she might make a friend in IT and actually have someone to call when things went wrong. She pressed send before she could change her mind.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Oh, you could?
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
This conversation has been more scintillating than most. What do you say Albarn?
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Not sure, Soul, coffee is definitely a tempting possibility.
Tsubaki would be proud of how coy she was with that one. Maybe she'd save the conversation for future proof. Then again, it could just as easily turn into blackmail or some elaborate scheme for her to actually go out with the tech guy.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
You wound me, Albarn.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
You're making it easy.
Then again, maybe that wasn't the worst thing that could happen.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Damn it. Some idiot spilled a red bull over his computer! I'll put you on with Bart until I'm back.
Maka sighed and turned reluctantly back to her work. So much for that. At least she'd had some fun while it lasted. It was probably for the best that her conversation had been cut short. Nothing good came from getting involved with men, especially ones you worked with. Her mother could definitely testify to that.
Next to her chat window with Soul, a new one with Bart opened up.
Grigori Solutions: Bart (THE GREAT BLACK*STAR): Less than a minute ago
Your scan is taking longer than expected. It looks like my lesser colleague went overboard. Typical nerd. I'll let you know when it's done.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Thanks.
Grigori Solutions: Bart (THE GREAT BLACK*STAR): Less than a minute ago
Hey Albarn? You still drink diet?
Maka chose to ignore the last message and tried to focus on her work instead. Not having much luck, she decided she'd steal Soul the IT guy's idea and go grab herself a coffee. Both her plans and the potentially flirtatious Soul fell from her mind when she entered the break room and caught sight of the fridge. Under her perfectly reasonable note a second note was taped. Her nemesis had responded and he had dared waste company colour ink by printing it in red font.
Dear Fettuccini Alfredo,
I have your precious pasta and expect it will be just as mediocre as all your past pasta dishes. It's uneaten, for now. Leave $10 on the Dora the Explorer plate in the fridge or you'll never see it undigested again.
Maka stared at the notice, vaguely aware of the rising rage inside of her and how hot her face was beginning to feel.
Grigori Solutions: Bart (THE GREAT BLACK*STAR): Five minutes ago
Hey Albarn! You still there? Your scan came back clean again. Could be you've got a buggy computer, could be you're cursed.
Maka typed back furiously, irked at having her attention split between her new office nemesis and an old annoyance.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
You know you're going to get in trouble for adding your stupid tagline onto your company account. You are aware of that?
Grigori Solutions: Bart (THE GREAT BLACK*STAR): Less than a minute ago
NO ONE CAN SILENCE THE GREAT BLACK*STAR XD.
Grigori Solutions: Bart (THE GREAT BLACK*STAR): Less than a minute ago
Soul says hi by the way.
Food thieves and her annoyance at them momentarily forgotten, Maka felt herself blushing a little.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Did he manage to save the computer?
Grigori Solutions: Bart (THE GREAT BLACK*STAR): Less than a minute ago
That peon didn't stand a chancskldtjiwpjgsf
Maka stared at her computer screen. If she didn't know better she'd think someone had tried to push Black*Star out of the way or take over typing.
Grigori Solutions: Bart (THE GREAT BLACK*STAR): Less than a minute ago
He's an idiot, not even the "Great" Black*Star could have salvaged that computer.
Maka smiled. Anyone who would down talk Black*Star in front of Black*Star, let alone from his own computer account, was someone she had to like.
Grigori Solutions: Bart (THE GREAT BLACK*STAR): Less than a minute ago
It's Soul by the way, hold on.
Moments later Soul's chat box activated, pinging brightly on her computer screen.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
That's better. He talks shit about other people spilling drinks, but his keyboard is stickier than the bathroom floor of a club.
Maka laughed outright at that before clamping a hand over her mouth and looking around the office quickly. No one seemed to have noticed. She turned back to her computer.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
You know you could get in trouble for swearing on a company computer. All these conversations are recorded and saved in case of future issues.
Real cool, Albarn.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
I won't tell if you don't ;)
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
I don't know. I take the rules very seriously.
She hesitated only a moment before adding an emoji.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
:p
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
For me?
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Maybe if you share some of that coffee you were talking about earlier.
Maka could hardly believe her own daring. Somehow, in the space of an hour, she had gone from harmless flirtation with no real life consequences to basically inviting him out for coffee! If this got out, she'd never hear the end of it from Tsubaki. Or her boss. Marie Mjolnir was one of those employers who was far more invested in her employees' personal lives than their work performance (so long as their work performance met the minimum requirements, of course). Her chat box stayed ominously silent, so Maka opened up Outlook fully intending to sort through the emails and organise them into a folder system. She tried not to stare at the clock in the corner of her screen, but found her eyes darting to it far too frequently for her liking. After five minutes (not that she was keeping track), Soul's chat box pinged again.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
I can take a break in twenty, just have to finish a few things first. How do you like your coffee?
She stared at the screen not quite believing what she was reading. He was coming up here, to see her, with coffee. Talking in person was a whole other ballgame and wariness rose in her chest, overpowering the twinges of excitement that had been there before. Well, she decided, she'd let his reaction to her coffee order decide. If he made fun of her girly order, she'd call the whole thing off.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
Black, with a heaping of whipped cream, caramel drizzle, chocolate dusting and sprinkles on top.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
That shit's going to rot your teeth and give you the sugar crash from hell.
Grigori Solutions: Guest: Less than a minute ago
I have excellent teeth, for your information. Besides, no one drinks coffee for the taste.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Albarn, it'd be healthier if you'd just get a soy vanilla latte like the rest of us.
Maka giggled.
Grigori Solutions: Albarn: Less than a minute ago
You drink soy vanilla lattes?
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Well I don't drink coffee for the taste. Do I? Don't know how you stand it once your whipped cream is gone. By the way, your computer should be working again.
Grigori Solutions: Albarn: Less than a minute ago
You fixed it! Oh wow, it's got my name on it again and everything.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
Well, that's a bit of a lie. If you try to connect anything to the Bluetooth the whole system will fall apart, but if you ever wanted to get in touch again…
Something about the confession was strangely endearing. It's not like he was her Netflix guy. They worked for the same company, for god's sake. She could contact him easily through the normal routes. Still she typed back a quick message.
Grigori Solutions: Albarn: Less than a minute ago
I'll keep that in mind. And I'll see you and my coffee in twenty minutes.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Less than a minute ago
You'll see me and your sugary monstrosity in twenty.
Grigori Solutions: Soul: Session Ended
The chat boxes on Maka's computer closed of their own accord and she took a moment to smile to herself. Maybe having to call tech support wasn't so bad after all. That surprisingly pleasant thought in mind, she turned her attention back to the food thief.
Dear Food Thief,
I do not negotiate with immature co-workers. I will not be leaving you any money on any plate, let alone a plastic Dora the Explorer Plate. (What are you, five?) Return my lunch to me and I won't get human resources involved.
Regards,
Maka
This time the file printed with ease and Maka wasted no time in taping it over the food thief's ransom note. That would teach him a lesson! Mind at ease, even if her stomach was now full of butterflies at the prospect of coffee from almost definitely flirting IT guy Soul, Maka set herself down to work. She had to catch up on lost time before she could enjoy her coffee.
Nearly twenty minutes later Maka sat at her desk, work finished and well-practiced expression of nonchalance fixed to her face. Maybe she had time to go check the fridge before Soul was meant to arrive. Her desk was very close to the break room, after all. She could make it back in a perfectly timed fancy meeting you here sort of way. God, she needed to calm down. It was just coffee! It's not like she was marrying the guy, or even going on a real date. She hadn't even seen him person yet, he could be a total creep! Mind made up, Maka headed for the breakroom and her steadily escalating food war.
Despite all her anger at the person stealing her food, she still wasn't prepared to run into him face to face. Standing in front of the fridge, taping another red inked note over hers was a man with white blonde hair and a smug look on his face.
"Yo-You!" Maka sputtered, hackles raised.
The man spun around.
"Me?" he asked, his voice a rough growl, like he hadn't spoken out loud in a few hours.
His eyes were a strange shade of brown, almost red, possibly even more red than brown when the light reflected off the toaster, shining across his face. Strange eyes aside, nothing was going to distract Maka from her crusade.
"Yes, you! You're the one who's been stealing my lunch!"
"Shit." At least he had the decency to look a little ashamed.
"And now I've caught you red-handed!"
He shrugged and stepped aside so she could read the note.
Dearest Fettucine Alfredo,
Considering you have not bent to my demands I will eat one bite of pasta every half hour until you concede. If you don't believe I'm serious, here's the proof.
Much appreciation,
Food Thief
A picture of her food being spooned up off another Dora the Explorer plate sitting next to today's newspaper was included at the bottom of the letter.
"If it makes you feel any better, today's pasta was slightly less mediocre than last week's." He shrugged again and buried his hands deep in his pockets. He looked more like a misbehaving puppy than a food criminal mastermind, but Maka was not a woman easily mollified.
"Why even steal it if it doesn't measure up to your ridiculous standards!?"
He shrugged yet again. Infuriating.
"Easier than doing it myself, I guess."
Maka clenched her hands into fists by her sides. She didn't have time for this right now. She was supposed to be meeting Soul for her much needed (now more than ever) coffee!
The man in front of her shifted awkwardly, "Look, not that this isn't endlessly entertaining, but I'm meeting someone so if you'll just move your fat ankles, I'll get on with my day."
Maka planted her feet more firmly, wishing she was wearing her heavy boots instead of the dainty kitten heels she wears to work.
"Well I'm supposed to be somewhere too, you know."
"Great, then you can get out of my way." He scooped up two coffees from the counter that she hadn't noticed before.
Her stomach hit her shoes. "No."
It was just her luck.
"What?"
In one hand he held a cup clearly marked soy vanilla and in the other was whipped cream, chocolate and sprinkles enclosed in a plastic top.
"Soul?" she demanded incredulously.
The colour drained from his face.
"Albarn?"
"You're the food thief!"
"You said your name was Albarn!"
"It's my last name, idiot! Who names their kid Albarn?"
"Clearly you've never been to prep school."
Maka balked. So not only was he an inconsiderate food thief, but he was an elitist jerk too!
"And clearly you're an up-himself prick who wastes work hours swearing and flirting on the work computers!"
He narrowed his eyes at her. Gaze flitting nervously to something over her shoulder. Maka half turned to follow his gaze and felt her face light up like a stop light. The entire office was watching them. Tsubaki was leaning against Maka's desk, ready to jump in at a moment's notice, and further back one of the interns was on the phone, probably calling security. Maka spun back towards Soul, and fixed him with her fiercest glare and finger outstretched, pointing menacingly at him.
"If you ever come up here and steal my lunch again, I will report you to HR and you will be incredibly sorry you ever met me."
Soul shrugged and moved towards her, invading her personal space. Caught off guard, Maka scuffled backwards towards the open door. Arm outstretched, Soul dropped her coffee in the trash. He pulled away from her, took a long sip of his stupid, pretentious soy vanilla latte and nodded to her.
"Is that all, or did you want to go grab a Diet Coke too?"
Maka was vaguely aware of someone tugging at her arm to subtly hold her in place.
"I'll see you around, Albarn." Soul smirked and strode out of the break room, casual as could be.
"You better hope not!" she yelled after him, ignoring what she now recognized to be Tsubaki's hand gripped tightly around her arm.
He waved at her over his shoulder without turning around. It was that moment that Maka decided that she absolutely, completely, always and forever hated having to call tech support.
