12A/N: This story contains rape, abuse, violence and self-harm. It could be heading towards a happier place but it really is not a happy story. Really if the aforementioned things bother you to read then stop reading now. Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters. I make no profit from this other than the tears of those who love the characters.
Chapter One.
The Twilight Taekwon-do Club was just starting their warm up when the new student slid silently in the door. Axel, the senior student, stepped in to continue the exercises as the Instructor went to conduct the joining-up interview and he couldn't help but lend half of his attention to observing the new guy while the boy sat up the back talking to Instructor Xaldin. Leading the students in a vigorous series of jumping jacks alternated with periods of sprinting on the spot Axel only managed to observe that the new student was slight in build and had hair that stuck up in improbable blonde spikes.
After he had the club sweating and breathing hard Axel sent everyone running in a circuit around the training hall completing a set of push ups or sit ups at each corner and he used the opportunity as he passed by the back of the hall to grab a closer look at the boy. Axel hadn't managed to catch the boy's name as he flew by but he came away with a very vivid impression of a tiny teen with pallid skin and incredibly large, bright blue eyes.
As the interview down the back seemed to be in no danger of ending anytime soon Axel made an executive decision and instructed the group to start practicing the pattern specific to their rank. Losing himself in the choreographed series of movements that made up the black stripe pattern, Axel finished to find that Xaldin was back in front of the class and the new kid was standing awkwardly in the junior spot.
Standing correctly at attention Axel listened as Xaldin outlined his plan to teach the new student the basics while the three senior ranked students were to split the class into belt groups to focus on their specific syllabus requirements. In sync with everyone else Axel bowed and shouted 'Yes sir!' snatching one last look at the new beginner who looked slightly worried at the thought of training alone with the massive, dreadlocked instructor. Taking control of his boisterous group of green belts Axel made a mental note to talk to the blonde kid if he came back to the next training, just to make sure he felt welcomed to the close-knit group he had joined.
With it being late autumn, the weather was decidedly chilly as Axel stood outside of the hall after training had ended. Though he had given up smoking four years before, the redhead still liked to take twenty minutes or so after training to just stand outside and decompress in the fresh air. Hands shoved deep in the pockets of his warm jacket and head tilted back to look at the stars Axel heard the door close and lock when Xaldin finally closed up the hall. The big man walked over and Axel pulled himself respectfully upright, curious as to what Xaldin had to talk to him about.
'Good training tonight,' the big man rumbled with a broad smile. 'Let me know if you want to sit your instructor's certificate once you ace your black belt grading.'
Unable to stop himself Axel snorted and quipped, 'The day I become an instructor is the day that you retire to an old folks home. Respectfully Sir, I would rather laminate myself into the floorboards of the hall than do what you have to do with the club.'
Wincing at his own impudence Axel bit his tongue, but he relaxed when Xaldin burst out in a booming laugh and clapped him on the shoulder. Xaldin nodded ruefully and said, 'I don't blame you there, instructing is somewhat of an acquired taste. Enough banter though, I wanted to talk with you about Roxas, the new student who will be joining us.'
Axel pricked up his ears at this and listened closely as Xaldin continued, 'Roxas attends Twilight Boarding School over on the other side of town and has been given permission to join a martial arts club to satisfy the physical education requirements of his final year. He seems like he could really get something out of both the Taekwon-do philosophy and the bond we build within the club, but I wanted to ask you if you could become his mentor for the next few weeks to make sure he gets the most out of what we have to offer.'
Axel blinked, grinning for a moment and then realized that Xaldin was waiting for an answer. Nodding emphatically Axel replied, 'Of course Sir, I kind of assumed that I would be taking on that role being the senior at club and all…'
Axel fell quizzically silent when Xaldin interrupted gruffly, 'This isn't a simple show him round and cut him loose okay Axel? I'm not going to get into the details that Roxas and I talked about, but suffice to say he has some problems and could probably use at least a training mentor if not a friend. Some of the things he told me were… Vexing. I think that you could be good for him if you are willing to put forth the effort.'
Stunned, Axel just stared at Xaldin and tried to take in what the usually taciturn man was saying. Resisting the impulse to give a quick reply Axel thought seriously about the prospect and then said, 'You know Sir even a year ago I would have looked at you like you were crazy. But even though I didn't get to speak with that kid I kinda felt that there was something off as soon as I saw him. I know you wouldn't ask me if you didn't think it would be a good thing for both of us and to be honest, even if you hadn't said anything I would have approached him anyway. I'll be here early for training tomorrow night and try and get at least introduced before class starts.'
Once again Xaldin clapped Axel hard on the shoulder and bestowed a second rare grin. 'You make sure you do Mr Lasair, I told Roxas to arrive early in anticipation of your answer. Now bear in mind, I've taken a shine to young Roxas and I would hate to have to demote you for shirking your duties as senior. Any problems and you know where I am Axel, don't forget that.'
With that final word Xaldin strolled away to his car leaving Axel more confused and curious than ever. It took the redhead almost ten minutes to get himself together and on the drive home he was preoccupied with thoughts of the pale blonde who had drifted into the orbit of his life only two hours before. Even after he was home and warm in bed, Axel's last thought before sleep claimed him was, 'Vexing? Now what in the seven hells could Xaldin mean by that?'
The evening had been a bit of a blur for Roxas as he reflected on it in the back of the taxi on the way back to the college dormitories. When he had asked the principal if he could take up a martial art outside of the school instead of attending normal phys ed classes he hadn't expected to get anything more than an invitation to leave the office. If he was honest with himself Roxas had nearly fainted when Principal Diz had nodded thoughtfully and commended him on his initiative. Still stunned by the unexpected dawning of hope Roxas had stuttered out his plan and left in a haze of happy disbelief. Now coming back from his first training at the Twilight Taekwon-do Club he still couldn't believe how things had turned out.
Prodded out of the car by the impatient taxi driver at the school gates Roxas slowly came down from the bewildered but tentatively happy cloud he was occupying, realising that with every step he took he was descending back into hell. Roxas slowed his pace the closer he got to his dormitory building but he couldn't delay his arrival forever and eventually he had to let himself in through the ornate wooden door and trudge in the direction of his room.
Mercifully the room that Roxas shared with four other people was empty an hour before lights out so he grabbed his towel and hurried to the dorm bathroom in the hope of a solitary shower after his evening of exercise. Once in the brightly lit, white tiled, communal bathroom Roxas quickly shed his clothes and stepped into the steaming hot shower furthest from the door. Although he was usually on high alert for any person entering his vicinity, five minutes into his shower Roxas jumped a foot in the air when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.
The initial shock made Roxas bite his lip hard enough to draw blood but his brain only took a second to evaluate the situation and his heart sank. Knowing it was useless but unable to help it Roxas covered himself with one hand and was reaching for his towel when the person behind him let out a dark chuckle and spun him round roughly. Abruptly Roxas found himself face to face with the one person he had hoped avoid that evening, the bulky, six foot tall head prefect Vexen.
For Vexen it was like a gift from the gods when he heard the water running and deduced who was taking a shower so late at night. His whole time at boarding school had consisted of bullying students smaller than him (which was almost everyone), but when he had discovered Roxas he found that he just couldn't control himself. Vexen had started out shoving and hitting the small blonde teen behind the teachers' backs but as time progressed the violence increased and then when he turned fourteen his mind turned to darker torments.
On his fourteenth birthday Vexen had gotten his brother to smuggle a bottle of alcohol into the school and when he was halfway through it Roxas had innocently wandered into their shared dorm room and discovered him. Intoxicated on the potent liquor Vexen had found that merely bruising Roxas just hadn't seemed enough and so when he pushed the boy up against the wall he trailed his hand below the waistband of his trousers provoking a delectable shriek that changed the course of both their lives. From then on Vexen took every opportunity he could to grope and molest the other boy, raping him for the first time on Roxas' sixteenth birthday.
Coming back from the fond memories he was momentarily lost in Vexen ran his gaze over Roxas' lean, bruised body and jerked the teen forward out of the shower spray. Almost playfully he pushed Roxas up against the wall tiles, stepping forward so that they were chest to chest and Roxas had nowhere to run. In a low voice he purred, 'I missed you tonight Roxie, I presume you missed me just as much…'
Vexen gazed into the terrified blue eyes that were staring back at him and he felt the dark desire unfurl within him. Keeping his eyes fixed on Roxas' face Vexen placed his hand on the boy's heaving chest and slowly dragged his nails downward, relishing the revulsion followed by resignation that passed through the eyes staring back at him. When Vexen brushed his fingers over Roxas' lower abs the younger boy's eyes slid closed in sickened surrender but at that moment the loud noise of teenage boys approaching forced Vexen to step away from his trembling victim.
Secure in his untouchable position Vexen smirked at Roxas as the boy shakily picked up his towel and turned off the water, taking a moment to run his eyes again over Roxas' body before wandering over to the sink to brush his teeth. The group of boys passed by the bathroom without entering which bolstered Vexen's feeling of invincibility and he grabbed Roxas once more as the teen scurried towards the door. Hauling the blonde close to his chest Vexen whispered in his ear, 'Sweet dreams my little plaything, I'll definitely be dreaming of you.'
Wrapped tightly in his blankets Roxas stared vacantly into the darkness. He could hear Vexen's movements across the room even above the sleeping sounds of the other two students that shared their room and it made him feel sick to his stomach. In the pain twisted corridors of Roxas' mind he screamed for someone to notice his bruises and his torment even though a part of him whispered that there was no hope left. Silent and still in the dark dorm room Roxas closed his eyes and slowly submerged into the chaos of his dreams.
Images of Vexen blurred together and seemed to whirl around him laughing maniacally. In his thoughts Roxas ran from his tormentor but no matter how fast he forced his body he couldn't escape. As he ran Roxas found that he was running towards the bright lights of the Taekwon-do training hall, a feeling rising within him telling him that the brightness meant safety. In desperation Roxas ran even faster and when he snapped a look over his shoulder he could see that the Vexen-monster-composite had fallen behind a little.
Legs pumping and lungs burning Roxas ran like his life depended on it and he reached the training hall doors a scant second before Vexen's hand swiped the air behind him. Panting harshly and slamming the doors firmly closed Roxas collapsed to his knees and rested his forehead against the cool wood. A sound behind him sent a sickening jolt through his body and Roxas slowly turned around fully expecting to see Vexen approaching from within the hall.
Instead of the familiar long, greasy blonde hair and sneering face of his tormentor Roxas found himself staring at a tall, lean figure dressed in the white uniform of the Taekwon-do students. Silently Roxas looked at the blurry, obscured face of the strange person and the back of his mind whispered that he had seen the brilliant red hair that framed the unidentifiable haze somewhere before. He opened his mouth to ask something, possibly the figure's name, but nothing came out when he tried to talk and letting out a deep breath Roxas found that he was happy with the tranquil silence.
For what seemed like an age Roxas just stared at the white-clad figure that stood before him like a protector or sentinel and then in the blink of an eye he found himself on his feet right in front of the mysterious person. Oddly enough Roxas felt no fear at the sudden confrontation and he looked placidly up at the still hidden area where the face should be. Realising that he could now talk Roxas blinked slowly and simply murmured, 'Why?'
At the sound of the single word the dream abruptly began to fragment around the edges, but before it could fracture beyond retrieval the redheaded figure reached out and gently laid his hand on the blonde's hair in a gesture that felt partly protective and partly like a promise. As the dream broke apart into brightly coloured shards that further dissipated into sparkling pinpoints Roxas heard a voice just at edge of hearing that whispered, 'Soon.'
That night Axel didn't dream in concrete images, being swept through the night in a river of tumultuous emotions. As soon as he closed his eyes he felt like his heart was being ripped out by a combination of raw fear and suffocating hopelessness and before his gaze churned a horrible smog of dull yellow mixed with venomous, serpentine green. The emotions were so strong that even in his sleep tears began to slide from behind Axel's closed eyelids.
Panic that became terror filled Axel's sleeping thoughts and he had a sense of frantically speeding away from the awful swirl of colours. Part of his mind that wasn't consumed in the confusion of feelings reflected almost idly that the emotions certainly didn't belong to him. The dread and feeling of speed reached its peak at this point and Axel was curious to find a sudden sense of rising hope entering the mix when the horrible colours behind him became eclipsed by a bright glow in front.
Even though it wasn't him running Axel could feel the burn in his dreaming chest and when his consciousness was enveloped by the brightness, banishing the horrible presence, he shared in the relief that filled the dream to the brim. To his shock the dream finally took on a vague, ephemeral form allowing him to see that the bright place was actually the inside of the hall that he trained in most nights a week. Looking straight ahead Axel saw that he was facing the doors to the hall and that leaning against the doors was a slight, person-shaped shadow.
Though he felt an overpowering urge to walk towards the shadow on the floor Axel was unable to move and he could only stand there and look. The shadow became aware of him a moment after he saw it and a wave of gut-wrenching despair overwhelmed his senses as the shadow turned slowly to face him. What happened next stunned Axel as he observed the shadow actually comprehend him and then project a sense of vague recognition and peace that hit him from every side at once.
It seemed like a long time later but could have been just an instant when Axel heard a quiet voice break the extended silence with a word that was both a question and a plea, 'Why?'
This question seemed to cause the dream to start to shake itself apart and Axel could only look on as everything began to fall to pieces. Seconds before the dream became nothing but a disappearing blur of colours Axel stepped forward and forced his hand to move, fingers landing on the head of the shadow that was now upright and stood as tall as his chest. In the swirling colour of the dying dream Axel finally found his voice and both his sleeping and dreaming bodies uttered a single word that puzzled him as it left his mouth, 'Soon.'
When he awoke in the morning Axel could only remember a vague impression of the dream but somewhere deep in his chest he felt an ache and there was damp patch of tears on his pillow. The motions of the day and the prospect of training that night however banished the dream to the back of Axel's thoughts as he heaved himself out of bed. It would have faded completely had it not been for a chance glimpse of the cloudless blue sky out of his window that made him think of blue eyes and shadow.
