It was his only shot.

Kirito made his way through the snow, his breath sending up puffs of vapor every time he exhaled through his lips. He pulled his long black coat around him a little tighter. The Forest of Wandering was bitterly cold. His fingers were beginning to numb. The night sky above glittered with stars, and the trees around him flickered with the breeze, their leafless branches rattling like dry bones.

He thought vaguely about the fact that normally, he would be spending Christmas Eve with his family. His sister, his grandfather even. Despite his differences with the old man, Kirito wished more than anything that he was with him right now. That he had never played Sword Art Online.

That he had never let Sachi die.

But now there was a chance- even if it was a slim one- that he could get her back. A revival item. Dropped by Nicholas the Renegade, the Christmas Event Boss on floor 35 under the large glistening pine tree that towered above all the others.

"Hey!"

Kirito froze at the voice, startled that someone was able to get so close to him without his Listening Skill picking up on it. He turned, and blinked in surprise to see a hooded figure only an inch shorter than he was standing a yard away. He couldn't make out the person's face, but it seemed like a kid.

"You're Kirito, right? The Black Swordsman. One armed weapon- no shield- yeah, you gotta be him," he said with a curt nod.

"What do you want?" Kirito asked, almost in a snap. He was in a rotten mood to say the least, and he only had a limited time to get to the tree before anyone else.

"I know you're going after that boss," the boy declared, folding his arms. "But you've gotta be ten crayons short of a Crayola box if you think you can take him on alone."

"I don't want your guild's help," Kirito said flatly.

"Pfft!" The boy laughed and then placed his hands on his hips. "Dumbass, I'm not offering you a guild's help. I'm offering you my help."

"If you think this boss is so strong, then why would you think only one extra player would help?" Kirito asked incredulously.

"Because I'm just that good. But I don't got my head so far up my ass that I think I can take that jolly saint dick wad alone," the boy said.

Some language for a kid.

"And I assume you want a shot at that item," Kirito accused, narrowing his eyes.

"Not exactly," the boy replied, lacing his hands behind his hooded head. His voice suddenly became somber. "If it drops, even if it gives it to me, I'll trade it to you. You're trying to bring someone back right?"

Kirito frowned at the boy. What was his motivation, if not the rare item? And how could he be certain this kid would trade it to him if he got it as the drop?

"Look," the boy sighed, holding up his hands. "I'll explain it like this: I'm not trying to bring anyone back. I just want to have it as a fail-safe. But, because you're trying to bring someone back, I'll let you try and use it first. I'd rather save someone who needs saving instead of keeping it on me for someone who might never even die in this hell. Make sense?"

"Not really," Kirito said. "You still want it, you just said so."

"I did," the boy admitted. "But like I said, I'll give it to you and let you try it first. We're not ever sure it will work. And I can't face that boss by myself, and neither can you."

"I beg to differ," Kirito muttered, turning on his heel.

The boy grabbed his shoulder, cutting the distance between them faster than Kirito expected.

"Let me make this clear, oh almighty Swordsman," he said, his voice suddenly darkening. "Either you take me with you, or I'm going to attack you, here and now."

"Excuse me?" Kirito asked, turning to face the boy as anger twisted his face.

The boy was unflinching. "I didn't st-st-st-stutter. I'll either make sure you don't have the health to face that thing, or keep you stalled until it's too late. What do you have to lose, Black Swordsman?"

Kirito stared. What the hell? What was this kid's deal? His words hardly made sense. But Kirito knew he was running out of time. If this brat attacked him, it could very well mean he'd miss the event or someone would beat him to it.

It seemed he had little choice.

"Fine," he grumbled, turning around. "But you had better keep your word."

"Yes!" The boy pumped his fist in the air, earning a raised brow from Kirito. With a flick of his wrist, the kid opened his menu and sent the party invite.

Kirito looked at it for a split second before accepting it. The boy's name was hit the accept button, and earned a jolt of surprise.

Makoto was one level higher than him- 62.

No wonder his Listen Skill hadn't picked him up. How was this guy so high level and not in one of the guilds fighting on the front lines? Granted, Kirito wasn't either, but he helped fight when he could, and he kept getting stronger in order to do so. But this Makoto- he'd never heard of him.

Makoto beamed from under his hood. "C'mon, it's not far!" he said, then ran ahead, short legs pushing through the snow.

Kirito frowned slightly as he followed the odd boy, and only had to hope that Makoto would stay true to his word. Because if he didn't- if he tried to take the revival item- Kirito would do whatever it took to get Sachi back.

Makoto came to a halt when the tree came into sight. It towered up into the sky, glistening with multiple lights. It looked like- well, a Christmas Tree. But instead of intent on their destination, Makoto's hooded head was to the side, looking at something else. Kirito followed his gaze and felt a jolt of surprise.

"Klein?"

Klein looked as he did the last time Kirito saw him in the Town of Beginnings- red hair, bandana tied about his head, the red tinged armor. He was surrounded by a group in similar gear. His guild, no doubt. Kirito remembered Klein offering him a place among them. Kirito turned them down, preferring to be a solo player. And the one time he went against that rule, well… that was why he was here.

"Hey, Kirito," he said, blinking in surprise, then looked at Makoto with a frown. "Who's your friend?"

"Not a friend," Kirito corrected him. "Why are you here, Klein?"

"You're going for that item, aren't you?" Klein said. "Let us help you. We can roll for it, whoever gets it gets it, fair's fair."

"We got this covered, carrot top," Makoto said, facing Klein. "It won't require anyone other than us."

"You've got to be kidding me, an Event Boss with only two people?" Klein demanded.

But then more sounds reached them, and Kirito turned to see another group of players stepping out into the clearing.

"Shit," Klein muttered. "The Divine Dragon Alliance. They'll do anything for a rare item." For a moment, he hesitated. Conflict flickered in his eyes as they darted between the approaching enemy players and Kirito. Finally, he let out a deep sigh. "Go on, then, we'll hold them back."

Kirito opened his mouth, but Makoto grabbed his hand before he could move away. "Oh just let 'em have their dick measuring contest, will ya? We got a Boss to slay!"

Makoto dragged Kirito toward the tree and they stepped into the Event Zone. Klein and the others vanishing behind them, causing their surroundings to appear like they were alone in the forest. Kirito pulled himself free of the boy's grip and shot him a glare before looking forward to the large, glistening tree. It emitted a lavender glow. Beside him, Makoto unsheathed a blade, one Kirito had never seen on a player before- a scythe.

Kirito almost questioned him about it. But then there was the sound of sleigh bells. Normally, it might have been a pleasant sound. It reminded him that it was Christmas, and it should be a time of cheer and joy. But the sound did nothing but send a small shiver of fear up his spine as it ominously echoed through the frigid air.

The beast that spawned was a giant- three stories tall at least with long gangling limbs, a large messy off-white beard, and tattered red clothing wreathing it's gray-skinned body. It roared, bulging eyes swirling in their sockets without any coordination with one another. Above it, the name NICHOLAS THE RENEGADE appeared, along with a health bar that seemed to stretch across all of Kirito's vision as he stared. Kirito unsheathed his sword and stood by Makoto. He found that as soon as the creature appeared, his fear was replaced with raw determination.

"Eugh, I was hoping for at least some resemblance to old Saint Nick," Makoto complained. "That's a Creepy Pasta blog if I've ever seen one. Right, I'll go first." Makoto shot Kirito a grin under his hood. "Be ready to switch."

With that, the boy rocketed forward with far more speed than Kirito was expecting. He watched as Nicholas the Renegade swung hard down at Makoto with a massive battle axe. Makoto dodged to the right, and the axe sent up a wave of snow. Makoto jumped and landed on the giant's arm, sprinting up the limb with scythe held back. With a battle cry, Makoto swung out his scythe at Nicholas' head, and Kirito saw the boss' health be dip slightly as Makoto dealt a fair amount of damage. Kirito had to take a moment to just stare. Makoto had executed that move perfectly. This kid had talent. Why hadn't Kirito run into him before? Or heard about him on the front lines?

"SWITCH!" Makoto called as he back flipped almost elegantly off of the giant's shoulder.

Kirito charged forward without another word as Makoto narrowly avoided being hit by the axe again. The Black Swordsman cut into Nicholas while his back was turned. Another drop in his health bar.

"Switch!" Kirito called as he leapt backwards.

Makoto raced by him, scythe at the ready. Kirito watched as Makoto perform a Pre Motion he recognized. Ravage. It was only a one hit move, but it was strong. But that also meant Makoto would be stuck in Post Motion for a few seconds, leaving him vulnerable. Makoto rocketed forward with a cry that almost sounded like the happy yelp of an excited puppy. Was this guy taking any of this seriously?

The slash hit, cutting into Nicholas' health even further, but as Kirito expected, Makoto was trapped in a Post Motion just behind the giant. Nicholas was recovering faster than Kirito thought possible, whirling on the spot and swinging down his axe at Makoto.

Kirito shot forward, sword at the side, executing the Pre Motion to Vertical Square, a four hit combo move that made the shape of a box. He saw hit attack hit. But he also saw the axe slam into Makoto, sending him flying with a yowl of pain. Kirito let out a soft curse. Why didn't Makoto tell him that he was going to use such a strong attack? Kirito could have been prepared to get the boss' attention while the boy was stuck in Post Motion. Had Makoto ever been in a party with anyone before?

Makoto's health dropped to two thirds. That was some hit he took. Kirito landed on one knee in the snow as Nicholas' attention refocused on him. But there wasn't much Kirito could do to gain distance- it was his turn to be trapped in a Post Motion.

"HEY! JOLLY SAINT FUCKOLAS!" Makoto shouted.

Kirito watched as three consecutive slashes ripped through the giant, causing him to stagger. Kirito's Post Motion ended, and he instantly attacked, not bothering to wait for Makoto's order. He performed his own three hit combo, but just as he finished, Nicholas whirled and slashed his battle axe hard across Kirito, sending him into the ground.

"Oi! Look at me when I'm insulting you, you shit biscuit!" Makoto's voice barked.

Kirito got stiffly back to his feet just as the giant was turning to face Makoto. He had never before heard such… interesting cursing. Or so much of it from someone so seemingly young. Nicolas slammed his axe down, and Kirito saw Makoto's health drop again, heard the boy's yowl.

"No!" Kirito bellowed, rushing forward.

He wasn't going to let someone else die while in a party with him. He couldn't. With a mighty roar, he completed the Pre Motion to a five hit combo, and his body lunged forward and performed the Skill. Nicholas' health dropped into the red. He landed, stuck in Post Motion once again. Makoto was recovered now, though. He leapt back up and pelted forward.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, KISS MY ASS!" Makoto yelled just as he performed another five hit combo. The attach slashied into Nicholas before he could get to Kirito and the monster burst into bits as his health dropped to nothing.

Makoto landed in a roll, then laid back into the snow with a flop, sending the white powder up everywhere around him. For a moment, Kirito thought the boy was crying. But as he got to his feet and approached, he saw Makoto was actually laughing. The boy sat up, and in the same motion, his hood fell back. For the first time, Kirito saw that Makoto wasn't a boy at all.

Short ash blond hair framed an heart shaped, beautiful face, eyes wide and blue, cheeks flushed from exertion and the cold.

Kirito stared, stunned for a moment.

"Y- you're a girl," he breathed.

Makoto finally stopped laughing, looking at him with a slightly quizzical look. "Well, yeah, duh," she said, still smiling. "Wait- it was the name, wasn't it? Heh, get's 'em every time. My avatar was a male before the whole world went to shit. Are you gonna pick up your loot, or what?"

The sudden change of subject brought Kirito back to his senses. He looked over and saw the glowing light representing Nicholas the Renegade's loot drop. His name was floating above it in small print. He'd received the item.

He went over and knelt into the snow, swiping open his menu with shaking hands. This was it. What he'd come for. It was blue with a golden frame wrapping around it with delicate swirls.

Kirito read the item name with his heart hammering in his ears.

Divine Stone of Returning Soul.

He hit the button to pick it up, and swiftly opened the item's description, intent on using it as soon as possible. What did he need? Something of Sachi's? Take the stone to the place she died? Anything. He would do anything to get her back.

He read the font before his eyes.

This item can be activated on the player's shortcut menu or by holding the materialized item and reciting Revive… [Player's Name] . The effect will only work during the time frame between the death of the player and the disappearance of item's effect light, which is approximately ten seconds.

It was like all the light in the world was snuffed out. Kirito fell to his knees, staring at the words before him with burning eyes. It wasn't fair. The game had filled him with such hope about this revival item, and then…

Ten seconds.

It was as if someone had replaced all his innards with stone. He wasn't getting Sachi back. She was gone. Dead. And it was all his fault.

"Yeah, I figured." Makoto's voice sounded far away. Kirito looked over at her, feeling numb.

She appeared sympathetic, but there was also something else in her eyes. Eagerness.

"Think about it," Makoto said. "Kayaba told us that the Nerve Gear fried our brains when our Avatars die. So how can you undo something like that? It would only make sense if it could only work during the End Phase of a player. Y'know, before those shit helms can go zap on our noggins." She made her hand into the shape of a gun and pretending to shoot herself in the head with the last sentence.

Somehow, her words, the way she almost seemed carefree about it- like she was just being matter of fact- made anger boil up inside Kirito.

"You knew and you didn't bother to say anything?" he snarled.

"I didn't know stick," Makoto retorted defensively, folding her arms. "I just guessed. Anyone with common sense could have figured that out. Besides, I needed someone's help to get this thing. If I tried to solo it, I probably would have gotten iced. Heh, get it?"

There she went again. Making a joke out of this. Kirito got to his feet then turned, thrusting the item into her. "Take it," he muttered, opening his menu to defuse the party. He then turned, and began to stalk away.

"Uh-" Makoto suddenly called after him. "I'm sorry."

There was something in her voice that made Kirito pause.

"Look, I… I can honestly say I don't know what it's like to lose someone, at least, not in here," Makoto said softly, and Kirito heard her boots squelching in the snow as she came to his side. "But I know what it's like to be terrified out of my mind that I will. Lose someone, I mean." She gave a nervous laugh, and Kirito began to suspect that she used the humor as a shield. And as he turned to look at her, he knew he was right. Her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were glazed in pain.

She was terrified.

"What's his name?" Kirito asked, his voice almost a croak.

Makoto met his eyes and blinked slowly. He had a feeling she was fighting back tears.

"Natsume. And don't tell him I told you that, he'd kill me." She laughed again. "He likes his user name much better. Don't know why."

"I see." Kirito wasn't sure why, but he was suddenly jealous of this girl. Her ability to laugh, to bury her fear and pain of being stuck in this place, Sword Art Online, where the only choice they had was to get to floor 100 and beat the final boss in order for any of them to be set free. How did she do it? How did she put up this front so easily? He wished he could laugh. He wished he could smother the agony he felt about Sachi and the rest of the Black Cats' deaths under a joke, under a laugh and a smile.

But he couldn't.

He didn't want to think about them anymore. It hurt too much. So instead he looked at Makoto and asked, "Did you meet him here? In Aincrad?"

"Huh?" Makoto seemed surprised by his continued conversation, then she chuckled. "Oh! No, no, you got the wrong idea. Natsu is my kid brother. I… I'm the one that convinced him to get Sword Art Online to play with me." She stared over to the luminescent tree, and this time, Kirito could see the shimmer of her tears. "I thought maybe… it would cheer him up some. Life in the real world wasn't going so well, but compared to this… It's my fault he's here."

Kirito didn't know what it was. The look on her face, of that carefully constructed mask of amusement beginning to crack... or his own heart that was on the verge of shattering, of the feeling of losing Sachi all over again. But either way, he reached out and pulled her into his arms. Makoto let out a gasp of surprise, but didn't pull away. For a moment, she just stood there as he buried his head into her shoulder, just glad for someone- anyone to hold onto. And then she returned his embrace.

They stood like that for how long, Kirito didn't know. But finally, Makoto pulled away from him, taking a step back and brushing herself off. She cleared her throat and warily met his eyes.

"Right, well, that- uh- let's never speak of that again, I've got a reputation to keep, as I'm sure you do as well." She nodded matter-of-factly, and despite there not being a smile on her face, Kirito could hear her attempt at humor in her voice. "I'm sure the Black Swordsman can't be seen as some softy who hugs strangers for comfort- not that I'm calling you a softy. And not that I'm calling myself strange. Unless you're into that kind of thing. Oh, that came out way more weird than I wanted it to." She slapped a hand to her face, but somehow she didn't exactly seem embarrassed. Kirito guessed that even that slip up was planned. She seemed like the person who planned every single word, all for the effect.

Kirito almost smiled at her words anyway. And perhaps that was her goal. She wasn't just trying to hide and mask her own pain with the humor- but help him forget about his own as well.

This girl was very interesting, to say the least.

"I promise I won't tell a soul," Kirito said. He caved and gave her a small smile.

She beamed at the sight of it. "Good. You're pretty good, Swordsman. If you ever need help with anything, y'know, you can hit me up. I'd be happy to lend my assistance and witty commentary." She bowed to him like a gentleman would.

Kirito gave her a brisk nod. "Noted."

"Great. Let's get out of here, then, shall we?" Makoto began to head for the invisible wall that would phase them back to the public realm, but she paused and looked back at him. "What… what was her name, by the way? If you don't mind me asking."

Kirito paused as well, feeling a slight stab of pain at the reminder of who he'd lost. But at the same time, as he looked at Makoto and answered, it felt good to talk about it. Like some kind of release.

"Sachi," he murmured. "Her name was Sachi. She and the rest of my guild… they died in a trap. I lied to them about my level, told them I was the same as theirs, so they thought they could handle more than they actually could… it's my fault they…"

Makoto looked at him with her face suddenly turning more serious than Kirito had ever seen it. "No, Kirito. It's Kayaba's fault."

Kirito realized her words might be true. But at the same time, he couldn't actually convince himself of that. Just like how Makoto probably couldn't convince herself that it wasn't her fault that her brother was stuck in here. That was just how the human mind worked. All the What Ifs that would invade and taunt them, convincing them even more of their guilt.

"Right," Kirito breathed, not wanting to let her know her words were wasted, but somehow, he was certain she knew.

He continued on, stepped outside of the phase. Makoto appearred just behind him. He gave her one last halfhearted smiled, and said, "It was nice meeting you, Makoto."

"Sure," Makoto said, looking him over with a slightly concerned glint in her eyes.

Kirito turned and began to walk away, but Makoto spoke one last time to him.

"Kirito?"

He looked back and saw her smile lightly at him. Somehow, that little grin was more genuine than her beam from earlier.

"Merry Christmas."

Kirito blinked in surprise, then nodded. "Merry Christmas," he replied, then turned and walked on.