14Newayz, nuff about me! I'll bug u later in the AU! Muhahaha! Now the purpose.I don't own and of the G-Wing boys, although I pray daily. Although, I do own Rei! So NO CUPCAKE FOR U! hehe ...
Wings of an Angel
Chapter 4
BY: Leigh Yuy
"Bakamono," (who is speaking here? Is it bob the invisible squid again? You know, he lives in the toilet, I don't think you want him in your story. Hehe)
"Say what you want sweetheart. This'll be your last day to live!" Kicking and screaming for help, they took the girl to the top of the waterfall. They were planing to throw her down along with her brother, but they decided to have a little more fun before. One of the demons, on a much lower rank, took Rei to a tree, and struggled to tie the brat up.
"Owie!(These are not needed and Owie? Is that something a big bad demon is gonna say? You can do better with your word usage than that, make him curse or scream in rage, he's not gonna shout out Owie to the world!)" That sound echoed the forest as Rei's canines claimed the demon's fleshy arm. Rei took hold onto the arm and didn't let go. She thought, "if she was going to die, might as well make the best of it!". "How dare you do that! Bitch!" The demons other arm swung around and hit her in the face at an alarmingly fast and hard instant. She could feel the blood trickle down her eye, and almost into her eye. The pain was now increasing by the minute. She didn't know if she could hold it any longer. Rei just wanted to get it over with and die!
"Come on! Give us a turn will ya?!", Another demon chuckled as he and another drew near. They were different from the others. They had flaming red skin, like the color of a rose when it blooms. Red skin and black wings, why they had transformed, was an abstruse matter. The two cryptic demons approached with time in their hands. Rei could see something different about them, they had a white glow around their structure.
Rei was now numb with pain and fear that she didn't feel any emotions anymore. She could rather care less that more demons were coming to enervate (again with the words I don't understand! Enervate? Kind of like renovate?) her. As long as she was eradicated from breathing and life, she wouldn't mind.
Before they spoke with a convivial (what's Convivial mean? Use words people will understand, I have no clue what it means! Even if you explain it to me, will other readers know what it means?) tone, they were joyfully playing with darts, to spare time. When the approached they still had them attached to their leathery hands. It was so obvious what they were going to do. Rei could almost figure them out.
"Here, take a shot and leave. Try and aim for her arms." The first handed one of six darts to the Black Demon. He (he slowly took it sounds better) gradually took it and closed one of his eyes. His arm swung back rather quickly and by an inch, Rei didn't have to feel the pain of that insane moment.
"Damn! Can I get another turn?" the Black Demon ( You are labeling someone, it is his title, he is a part of a species called Black Demon's, therefore it's a proper noun, it needs to be capitalized) fulminated. They ignored his question and told him to go away, so that they alone would be able to enjoy the incessant party. They crept closer and closer towards Rei, she thought if they were any closer, they would be breathing on her. The one that had the darts looked around so that no one was looking and spoke with a calming tone,
"We're gonna get you out, ok? And sorry about the dart thing, I had to make him trust me. We're both from the Angel society, just like you." (Who is he? You've yet to state who he is, by the way, I started at the bottom and worked my way up.) He (Stop using HE so much, use his name!) turned to scan the area again. " We've heard about the news, and decided to help. We're friends of your mother's. Now, where is your brother?" Now that was a question Rei had counted on them knowing. And tears poured from her eyes. (... is only used when parts of the speech is missing. Use periods instead.) "I.. I..I don't know! It's my entire fault! I tried to go to him and save him!" The angel outstretched his arms and nurtured the sobbing girl, which whose words were now gargled in pity and love. He soothed her till her tears stopped. He then motioned for the second angel to scan the place for him but all that he found were murky omens. "They are going to kill him! And they meant to do a painful and quick job about it! You have to find him soon!" (again who is speaking here? Is it the angle, or is it the girl? I haven't read this fully yet, so I don't know what's going on, it's best to state what's what, whose talking and whose not. ADD DETAILS THIS IS THE ONLY FIC I'VE READ LATELY THAT HAS LACK OF DETAILS! What is she wearing, background information like trees, houses, what's the room, etc. Ask me for more information.)
"Shh. Believe me, we'll do all that we can. Now, to get you out without those birdbrains knowing." He smiled as he absorbed all the information of his pal. The demons had gone down the cliff for some unknown reason, but they still didn't know about the angels. ( Don't always use he or she, use their names too, or you could say something like, the person next to so and so said. Make it interesting, not some boring monotone!)
"How long till those are undone?" (who is speaking here? State who it is with he or she spoke and/or he or she said.)
"Ha, they made sure that know one could escape, I'll leave it at that!" After about five minutes, the ropes gradually fell to the soft grass below. "Finally," He lifted her up and carried her on his back. She was light and half-starved. (You are using She too much, say something like, the too light female, or the slight girl/woman was light and and half starved. Can you come up with many different things that just she this and she that.) She started to notice his details, just incase they got separated. She had enough strength now to see them in their true forms.
His hair was a messy cream, with sparkling white specks glittering throughout. His eyes swallowed the darkness with ice blue. (This period is not needed. Add and; And his clothes were those of a demon, stop using HIS so much, dang! Worse than I am...wait...no one is worse than I am uhh hehe. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this.) His clothes were those of a demon, red and black, with spikes and evil all over. If she were a demon, she would've only seen him as a demon, but angels could see their own, and that was one trick-of-the-trait to confuse the dark ones.
The other angel had red hair (and it was shiny, not "The other angel had red hair that shined." What'd he do, go to some bowling ally and stick his head in the ball shiner? Is it that bright?) that shined. His eyes were the same color, and he was pretty handsome too. His age was estimated to be about 23 in human years. In angelic Angle years he was to be around 525 years old. The one with the cream hair looked the same age, but a tad bit older.
"I'll take her home. You try and find the other one." One quick nod and they both were off in different directions. The red haired one became more distant and by the next second Rei could no longer see him. She could only continue praying. (what in the seven hells happened here? Who in the jigoku is he talking to? You can't write something and then automatically assume that people are gonna know what your thinking just because you wrote it a certain way. I found this out the hard way. Write me for more info.) ~~~~~ AN: Konnichiwa! My goodness it's been SO LONG! GOMEN NASAI! *bows* I really didn't mean for it to take THIS long, and I completely forgot ALL about it. I'm still thinking of ideas for what to do with Heero. It's hard to think of the perfect thing. Well I think I've said enough, talk to me by e-mail if u have any questions or suggestions for the story! ^^ Arigato!
EMAIL: Kazenobaka
URL: wolfgurl012
AIM: LeighYuy01
