11This is a companion piece to my earlier story "Bring on the Rain." Reading that story isn't necessary to understand this one, but if you haven't already read it... :)
The rain was coming, Kid McCloud acknowledged as he studied the darkening skies, and it would arrive soon. Despite the fact that such a realization would make most folks frown with disappointment, he found himself smiling broadly. He quickened his pace and started to whistle a happy tune. He loved the rain.
As he limped his way across the meadow, he chuckled to himself. He hadn't always loved the rain. In fact there had been a time that he hated it. There was nothing worse than drawing a ride for the Express and getting caught in the rain. Every inch of his self and his belongings would be soaked, even with rain gear.
And with rain came mud. Sometimes it made a ride seem like a battle. Buck had once told him about earth spirits and water spirits. After that, Kid always had the mental image of an earth spirit throwing mud up on him while the water spirit tried to wash him off. He wasn't sure which was worse in the end, as they both made him plenty miserable.
He turned another smile skyward as he slowed his pace to accommodate his sore leg. Lou. His sweet Lou had always laughed at his grumbling about rain. She'd laughed at his brothers when they grumbled too. She always said the rain kept the dust and the trouble away. None of them would have let her live those words down, except for the fact that she would come in from a rainy ride smiling from ear to ear. Cody said it must be a girl thing, but Kid decided it was a Lou thing. And that just made him fall in love with her all the more.
He knew he wasn't far from Rock Creek now, but his leg was beginning to throb in earnest after his long walk. Finally he surrendered and sat down to rest on a large rock. He figured he was only a couple of miles from home now. His smile began to fade as doubt assailed him. He hadn't had word from anyone in over a year. Last news he'd heard about Rock Creek was of an outbreak of typhoid fever. Lots of souls had been lost.
He hadn't received any more letters after that. He'd treasured every letter she'd sent him, so the absence of new letters felt like a physical blow. He'd had nothing but time to ponder what it meant, and he'd decided it meant only one of two things. Either she had been taken by the fever or she'd given up on him. He honestly wasn't sure which one would be worse. If she were dead it would be bad enough, but if she were alive somewhere and hating him... He didn't receive letters from anyone else in their ragtag family after that either. They couldn't all have died in that fever, could they?
He absentmindedly rubbed his right knee. That bullet should have been enough to send him home. And it had been, until he'd reached Tennessee. There he'd been picked up with other Confederate soldiers by the Union army and sent to Rock Island prison. An involuntary shudder passed through him at the memory of his recent home. Home. He shook his head. He could call Rock Island many things: a trial to be borne, a place where men were broken, even hell on earth... But it was never a home. Teaspoon once told him that home was where the heart is. That meant his home would only ever be where Lou was.
Though he never really had much time for schooling, Kid hadn't ever considered himself a fool. But as he thought back over the past few years he couldn't think of any other way to describe himself. Who would willingly travel over a thousand miles to fight for a piece of land he didn't even own? Who would leave his beautiful new wife to scavenge the countryside with a bunch of scraggly men? Who would give up his future to hold onto the past? Only a fool. And he was the biggest fool of all.
He'd had time to think about everything at Rock Island. He'd thought back over every mile of Express trail he'd ridden, every conversation he'd had with Teaspoon and the boys, and every moment he'd spent with Lou. He regretted the time they'd spent apart. Back when he'd pushed too hard and she ran. He'd thought he might even lose her to Jimmy. Why else would she run? Slowly he began to realize that he was trying to change her. Back then he thought he was only being protective, but he soon realized that whenever he tried to protect her from herself he was really asking her to be someone else.
They'd flirted and tried to stay friends. After Doritha's disastrous visit and death, Lou had made it a point to let him know where she stood. And it turns out, she stood by his side. After feeling so many times like he had to chase her, it was one of the most satisfying moments of his life. If he'd loved her before, he was devoted to her after that.
As they made the decision to marry and start a life together, he knew she was nervous. Life would change for them both, but he knew hers would be drastically different. Lou, the Pony Express rider, was free to ride and shoot and not think twice about it. Louise, his wife, would be expected to stay home and cook and clean. He tried to let her know that those weren't his expectations anymore. He had once pictured such a life, but he loved her so much more than his old ideas. He'd started dreaming of a life where Lou was his equal, working side by side with him to start their ranch… Just as soon as he got back from the war. Everyone in the south seemed to think it would only last a few months.
Kid tilted his face up to study the dark clouds closing in. As a boy he'd thought only a fool would like the rain. It was only fitting then, that he really was a fool. A fool who'd been away from his wife and home longer than he'd ever been with them. A fool who'd placed some silly definition of "honor" above all the things he'd ever wanted. A fool who, in order to fight for a land that wasn't even his anymore, left a wife he loved, a home he owned, and a future full of promise.
And now all he really had was hope. Hope that Lou was still alive and waiting for him. Hope that his friends were alive and well. Hope that he really did have a place to call home. Hope that his bum leg wouldn't keep him from starting the ranch he'd long dreamed of. And one thing he'd learned as a prisoner at Rock Island was that hope was a dangerous thing. It was a target of scorn from his captors. They had enjoyed doing everything they could to try to snuff out his belief that he would again taste freedom. As if to prove yet again that they were wrong, he stood and stretched, testing out his bad leg.
His body was worn, weak, and weary. He'd been hungry for so long that he sometimes felt like his stomach was trying to devour itself. As he walked on he reached his hand into his pocket, pulling out a well-worn piece of paper. It had been folded and refolded so many times that many of the creases in the paper were wearing away into holes. But that ragged piece of paper had become a lifeline. He stroked the soft paper with his thumb and smiled.
Looking at his surroundings he realized he was quite close to his destination. He should be able to see it from the crest of the next small hill. As he made his way to the ridge, he unfolded the paper in his hands. Smiling, he studied the drawing of their house even though it was seared in his memory. The picture had been included in the last letter Lou had written. All the other letters and drawings she'd sent him had been confiscated by the prison, but they never found the one that meant the most to him. At a time when the prison was becoming more and more brutal, that last letter and sketch were the only things that got him through each dark day.
Kid stood on the hill overlooking their house. From worn image to reality, he looked back and forth. Lou had become quite a talented artist. He'd seen how photographs could capture the stark truth of a person or place, but Lou's drawing was better. He could see how she had lingered over certain parts. The front porch swing where they'd sit each evening. The window to their bedroom. The patch of wildflowers where they had made love his last night there. The softness of those touches made the image more real than any photograph.
After folding up the precious drawing, he returned it to his pocket. He would keep it as long as it held together, but now he had the reality. Now that he was so close, he began to feel quite nervous. What if she'd gone? He refused to think that she'd died, not when he was so close to seeing her again. But what if she'd given up and sold the house, sold the land where they'd planned to build their ranch? What if she'd moved on? Maybe she'd stopped writing because she'd met someone else. Maybe Jimmy had come back. Maybe…
He shook his head as he stepped up on the front porch. He couldn't let himself go down that road now. Tugging off his hat, he knocked on the door and stepped back. He waited for several moments before knocking again and calling out Lou's name. Silence reigned. He peered in the closest window but saw no movement. Stepping off the porch he noticed the brilliantly colored sunset. Looking back at the house he realized no lamps had been lit. The home he'd dreamed of since he left all those years ago, was still, dark, and silent.
He chuckled to himself. In all his imagined homecomings, never had he considered the possibility that no one would be home. He hoped Lou would be back tonight, but just in case she didn't return he decided to check out the barn. He could sleep there if he needed to. He was just reaching the barn door when he happened to look toward the horizon. He froze.
Lou was walking through the meadow beyond, a crown of white, lacey flowers resting on her hair. He drew a long slow breath as he drank her in. She looked so thin and small, that the flower crown gave her the appearance of a sprite or fairy. Her hair had grown so long in his absence. He'd always wanted her to grow it long again, and now, watching her twist a strand around her finger in an absentminded manner, he felt his fingers fairly itch with their need to slide through the silken locks.
She stopped for a moment, turning to study the brilliant sunset as it prepared to be swallowed by the coming darkness. Her stance was one of tired resolution. He recognized the set of her shoulders; he'd seen it often enough when they were riding for the express.
Kid had often thought about what her life must have been like without him. Her letters were always filled with amusing stories about her day to day life. He'd sometimes wondered if she were leaving things out to keep him from worrying, and he guessed he had his answer. From where he stood he could see that her clothes were worn and patched, and he was again struck by her small frame. She'd always been slim, but there was an air of what his mother would have called "genteel poverty." Yet as she drew nearer she began to chuckle, drawing a smile from him.
For a moment confusion reigned. The house and barn were impeccably kept, the land well-tended, yet Lou looked like a waif. Realization slowly dawned. She'd poured her time and money into their property, neglecting herself in the process. He understood it and acknowledged that he likely would have done the same thing in her shoes. But that didn't change the fact that he would see that she didn't have to make such sacrifices again. She'd been alone for so long. But what if, he wondered, what if she wanted it to stay that way? He was again consumed by doubt. So much had changed, what if she had changed too?
A fat raindrop fell on his cheek as she resumed her progress toward the house. He watched as the drops marked her blouse and finally drew a throaty laugh from her. He watched her bend her slender neck to look up at the gray skies, a smile stretching across her thin face. He was about to call out to her when she threw her arms open wide and began to spin around. His breath hitched in his chest. She was still Lou. Only his Lou would dance in the rain like that despite her troubles. Yes, she was still Lou, and she was still breathtakingly beautiful to him.
The air was suddenly electric. She froze, then turned ever so slowly toward him. He knew he didn't look like the young man who had left. Time, distance, and war had left their mark on him. She wouldn't recognize him from a distance. He began walking toward her, clumsily yanking his hat from his tangled curls and willing her to know him.
He knew the precise moment she realized who he was. Her eyes had narrowed, studying first his tattered uniform and then his tousled hair. Then her eyes widened as a cry escaped her lips. And then she was running. They collided, each clinging to the other desperately. They touched and searched and held each other with a passionate fervor, until Kid drew back to study her precious face up close. To anyone else she might have appeared a drowned urchin, but to him she was still radiantly beautiful
"We best get you in the house, you'll catch your death here in the wet!" She laughed as he tugged her toward the front porch.
"Oh Kid," she said with a happy sigh. "As long as I have you with me, I couldn't care less about being wet." Grabbing his collar she pulled him in for a kiss, her lips bringing a heat that threatened to turn the drops around them to steam. "Bring on the rain."
After another passionate kiss Lou pulled away, reaching for his hand. Leading him to the porch she looked back at him with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Kid. I forgot you never liked this kind of weather."
He stopped short, yanking her back into his embrace. Startled, she studied him through widened eyes. "You're right. I used to hate it." He leaned forward to kiss her again. "But I've learned a lot since then. And I've learned to like the rain."
Thanks so much to Beulah and Pearl for helping me bring Kid's story to life. And thanks to the ladies on the Plus who are always there to walk through the rain with me. Much love, ladies!
"Like The Rain" by Clint Black
I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through
On the darkest day there's always light and now I see it too
But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind
All the heaven's rivers come to light and I see it all unwind
I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pane
when I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain
Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Liked the rain always calling for you I'm falling for you now
Just like the rain
When the cloud is rolling over thunder striking me
It's as bright as lightning and I wonder why I couldn't see
That it's always good and when the flood is gone we still remain
Guess I've known all along I just belong here with you falling
Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Liked the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now
Just like the rain I have fallen for you
I'm falling for you know just like the rain
And when the night falls on our better days
And we're looking to the sky
For the winds to take us high above the plains
I know that we'll find better ways to look into the eye
of the storms that will be calling
Forever we'll be falling
Like the rain I have fallen for you, and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you, I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain
Like the rain
