29Author's Note: I know...putting the instances in the synapses gives something away, but this isn't kid stuff.
Save Me From Insanity
By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters
Ch. 1: Squirm
Catherine Willows had managed to get home early while her daughter Lindsay was still in school. She set to work cleaning the kitchen to make dinner fo herself, her husband and daughter. It wasn't exactly the life she'd pictured with her husband. Her daughter and job were her reasons for staying with her husband. She truly hadn't loved him since her wedding night. After the Honeymoon, and they started their lives, it was where love ended and servitude began.
He was a fairly successful music producer, when he wasn't drinking or snorting coke. But when he was, the abuse began. The scars, the marks and bruises that she had to hide from others. It was why she only had friends at work, not out of it. The one thing she was grateful for, in that instance, was that he didn't allow Lindsay to either witness or bear the marks.
The house was required to be so clean any surface could be eaten off of. Floors swept, walls washed. Every. Damn. Day. Since when was servitude in her marriage vows? She didn't know, though it was a question she asked herself daily as she applied her makeup in layers to hide his 'love' for her. She knew she and Lindsay had to get out, to find some way, but he had so many connections, Catherine was afraid they would never get the chance. There was work, but it wasn't right to involve them in personal problems. She knew that.
Catherine cringed when the door slammed, dragging her out of her thoughts. He was home. Early.
He quickly approached his wife and wrapped his arms around her tightly from behind, kissing her cheek.
Catherine tried not to cringe too much as she cleaned the counters. "Hello," she said in a, somewhat, emotionless tone.
"What, no kiss?"
Catherine sighed inwardly, turning to kiss him. Though from his light grip maybe hadn't indulged...at least not yet. These times were rare. She smiled softly. "What would you like for dinner?"
"Did you get that steak at the shops?"
She nodded. "Thawing in the sink on a platter."
"I'm going to go for a shower," Eddie smiled, "can you bring me some warm towels?"
She nodded. "After I'll need to pick Lindsay up from school."
"Ok," he replied, kissing her cheek before disappearing upstairs running the shower. He took a swig from his hip flask sighing in satisfaction as the alcohol stung the back if his throat.
Catherine sighed, taking a couple warm towels from the dryer, folding them and bringing them up to him. Right about now, she knew he'd have that flask. She was grateful that he hadn't walked in the door drunk. Though, most nights, that meant nothing.
She knocked on the closed door before opening it and setting the towels on the sink and leaving the room. Going downstairs, she grabbed her purse and car keys to pick Lindsay up from school. As she sat waiting, she contemplated her next move. Lindsay was a smart girl so she knew part of what was going on. She'd need to talk with her before they got home so Eddie couldn't eavesdrop.
"Hi Mommy!" she smiled as she got into the car.
Catherine smiled, hugging her tightly. "Hi baby! How was school?"
"It was fine, thanks," Lindsay smiled.
Catherine smiled again. "Hey, Linds, I need to talk to you ok? And Daddy can't know."
"Ok. Promise."
"After you go to bed, do you ever wake up at night hearing noises?"
Lindsay frowned. "You mean like banging? And Daddy shouting?"
Catherine nodded. "Yes sweetie. What else to you hear?"
"Sometimes things smashing. I just close my eyes and put my pillow over my head."
Catherine nodded, handing her a bag from the floorboard. "These will help with that. But you need to hide them, ok?" The bag contained noise-cancelling headphones and a music player.
"Ok," Lindsay smiled, kissing her mother's cheek. They were nearly home after the rest of their quiet journey when Lindsay turned to her. "Do you cry yourself to sleep every night?" she asked quietly.
Catherine sighed. "I...a lot yes. Baby, have you told anyone about it?"
Lindsay shook her head. "No, Mommy."
"Good. And you know that if Daddy leaves for work and I still haven't gotten you up for school to call for help, right?"
"And all the numbers are in the phone book under the phone where it says emergency right?"
Catherine nodded. "Yes sweetheart. I've been thinking of giving you someone else's number too. Remember me talking about a friend from work, Sara?"
"Yes, I remember."
Catherine took a pen, writing her cell number on the inside of the bag. "Keep this number because if I end up in the hospital, I don't want you with Daddy, ok?"
"Ok. Will she know who I am?"
"I'll pick you up for lunch tomorrow so you can meet her, ok? And she can't know what happens unless you stay with her, ok?"
Lindsay nodded. "You can come and sleep in my bed if you want."
"I might, but just go up and find a hiding spot for your things and get started on your homework. I'll come get you for dinner," Catherine said as she pulled up beside the house.
"Ok, Mommy. Love you," Lindsay smiled before running inside to her room, not noticing her father in the living room.
Catherine smiled. "Love you too," she said, walking into the house, straight to the kitchen to start dinner.
"You were a while. I thought you were just getting Lindsay from school?" He asked, entering the kitchen to slip his credit card back in his wallet.
"I was. Traffic was crazy," she answered.
"The traffic was fine when I came home.," he stated. "Look at me."
Catherine sighed, turning to him. "What? It couldn't have changed in fifteen minutes. You did get home early."
"I can tell when you're lying to me, Catherine. You like winding me up, don't you?"
She sighed. "If you want me to cook for you tonight, you need to let me."
"If? You WILL cook for me, Catherine. That's your job, or do you need reminding?" He threatened, gripping her wrist tightly.
"Mommy..." Lindsay said as she walked in with her eyes on her schoolbook as he roughly let Catherine's wrist go. But not without a mark.
Catherine wiped her eyes, getting to her level. "What is it, baby?"
"Can I have a drink, please?" she asked, looking into her mother's eyes. "The hot sun when we got stuck in traffic has made me really thirsty."
Catherine nodded, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filled it halfway with cold water before giving it back to her, kissing her cheek.
"Thanks. Hi, Daddy," she smiled before returning upstairs.
"Don't be too long with dinner," Eddie warned, going to snort another line in the living room.
Catherine nodded, quickly frying up three steaks with potatoes and green beans as she set the table. She quickly set everything out, steaing hot fifteen minutes later. "Dinner's on the table," she replied, going to get Lindsay.
Eddie nodded, watching as Catherine disappeared. He cut half of Catherine's steak and placed it on his own plate before beginning to eat.
Catherine walked up, knocking on Lindsay's door. "Baby, dinner's ready."
Lindsay slowly opened her door, walking into the hall. "Did I do good, Mommy?"
Catherine smiled, hugging her tightly. "Yes," she whispered, quickly leading her down to the table, seeing, as usual, half of her main dish was gone. This was why she kept an abundant stash of food in her desk at work.
"Mommy, can I stay at Jessica's tonight? I forgot to ask when you picked me up. You could drop me on your way to work?" Lindsay asked, smiling sweetly.
"I don't know. It's a school night, Linds," Catherine said automatically. In truth, it would be easier if she was out of the house, but if Lindsay wasn't there, she had to wonder what would happen to herself.
"Sounds like a good idea to me," Eddie smiled, "come on, Cath, ease up a bit."
Catherine nodded. "All right, but just for the night. I'll take you. She lives across town, right?" she asked, hopng Lindsay would play along. Across town was also where Sara happened to live.
"Yes. Thanks, Daddy," Lindsay replied. She was more than pleased when he had agreed. She hated it when her mother left for work. That was when her father always asked another woman over and they kept her awake until late. Not that she ever told her mother.
Catherine ate slowly, trying to make what she had left last. A practice she was forced to do nightly. She always made she she was at work early enough to eat a bit.
Lindsay finished quickly, excusing herself, with her father's permission, before going upstairs to pack her things.
Catherine finished eating and set her things in the sink, waiting for Eddie to finish.
As he finished he stood between the table and Catherine. "Don't be late tomorrow."
Catherine nodded. "I'll make sure."
"Good," Eddie smiled, squeezing her cheeks as he kissed her forcefully before leaving the room.
Catherine winced, clearing the table and washing dishes before putting them away and going to see if Lindsay was ready yet. "Linds?" she knocked on her door.
Lindsay opened her door with her school bag and overnight bag. "Are we going?"
Catherine nodded. "Do you have everything?"
"Yes, I packed my toothbrush too."
"Good," she smiled, leading her downstairs. "Across town will take an hour and a half to get back," she said, grabbing her purse and keys before leaving. Once they were a safe distance away, she added, "After I take you to meet Sara..."
"Ok, Mommy," Lindsay smiled, "you could take her to work."
Catherine shook her head. "No, I'll take you to meet her, then she can ride with us so I can talk to her."
