for Sword Art Online: the Children of the Gods2/23/2013 c1 
1Tensei Kano
Hey, Tensei Kano here. My reviews are generally long, because I aim to help people improve, alon with my two cents, of course. If I appear critical, don't sue me because I cry easily. XD but seriously, don't sue me.
I can see the skill of writing there, at least I see it myself. Description is well done, narrator is fairly standard, dipping in and put of the character's mind. Female protagonists are slightly rarer in SAO, so good job on that.
It mirrors the Kirito and Klein meeting, which is a good thing.
If there's one thing I kind of don't like, it's the fact that there is a father. Most SAO stories generically include teenagers without their guardians, in order to be free, in constrained from the rules of the normal world. To be free of people telling them what to do.
If you'd like to use my OC, you already know what he's like.
Tensei Kano
Age : 14-15
Black hair, blue eyes, slightly short, which females seem to like taking advantage of to demean him in a friendly manner. A friendly individual himself with a set of firm morals. Speaks his mind and sticks to his decisions, sometimes, but not always, to the poit of stubbornness.
Thanks for taking time to read this, and good luck to you!
Tensei Kano
1Tensei KanoHey, Tensei Kano here. My reviews are generally long, because I aim to help people improve, alon with my two cents, of course. If I appear critical, don't sue me because I cry easily. XD but seriously, don't sue me.
I can see the skill of writing there, at least I see it myself. Description is well done, narrator is fairly standard, dipping in and put of the character's mind. Female protagonists are slightly rarer in SAO, so good job on that.
It mirrors the Kirito and Klein meeting, which is a good thing.
If there's one thing I kind of don't like, it's the fact that there is a father. Most SAO stories generically include teenagers without their guardians, in order to be free, in constrained from the rules of the normal world. To be free of people telling them what to do.
If you'd like to use my OC, you already know what he's like.
Tensei Kano
Age : 14-15
Black hair, blue eyes, slightly short, which females seem to like taking advantage of to demean him in a friendly manner. A friendly individual himself with a set of firm morals. Speaks his mind and sticks to his decisions, sometimes, but not always, to the poit of stubbornness.
Thanks for taking time to read this, and good luck to you!
Tensei Kano
1/10/2013 c1 9Bznboy
I'll hold on any criticism to myself for now, it's an interesting concept... Can I add my oc in?
9BznboyI'll hold on any criticism to myself for now, it's an interesting concept... Can I add my oc in?
1/9/2013 c1 Mzr90
Cool start seems interesting that this will be based with a father/daughter team and that she is making a biography of what happens.
As for translations I'm sure you can find them on Baka-Tsuki and I would be interested in adding an OC if possible.
Cool start seems interesting that this will be based with a father/daughter team and that she is making a biography of what happens.
As for translations I'm sure you can find them on Baka-Tsuki and I would be interested in adding an OC if possible.
