for Meddlers: Headache3/9/2009 c2 
6ZeroMGA
I like the potential your story has, but at the moment the second chapter is fairly confusing. There's little continuity to it from the first chapter; a lot of things that happened were next explained, such as who your characters are, and why the intervened.
Your second chapter only adds to them, as they make references to a couple things that have a very "thrown-in" feeling.
I definitely will continue reading it, but hope you smooth out the story a bit and maybe slow down enough to bring in a bit of background to the story and to indicate what its plot will focus on. If you do so, I highly suggest refraining from the typical "long winded character monologue explaining their life's story." This kind of explanation format usually detracts from a story more then it adds anything.
A good balance of story telling narrative and character interaction will definitely see you through. Looking forward to reading more!
6ZeroMGAI like the potential your story has, but at the moment the second chapter is fairly confusing. There's little continuity to it from the first chapter; a lot of things that happened were next explained, such as who your characters are, and why the intervened.
Your second chapter only adds to them, as they make references to a couple things that have a very "thrown-in" feeling.
I definitely will continue reading it, but hope you smooth out the story a bit and maybe slow down enough to bring in a bit of background to the story and to indicate what its plot will focus on. If you do so, I highly suggest refraining from the typical "long winded character monologue explaining their life's story." This kind of explanation format usually detracts from a story more then it adds anything.
A good balance of story telling narrative and character interaction will definitely see you through. Looking forward to reading more!
