for One Hell of a Crisis!12/10/2009 c1 
2Dark Avarice
I enjoyed this. I love Dino Crisis, and this was very amusing. If you ever want to put another chapter up, I'd read it.
2Dark AvariceI enjoyed this. I love Dino Crisis, and this was very amusing. If you ever want to put another chapter up, I'd read it.
5/26/2007 c1 11Her Royal Nonsense
Not bad for your second story, I liked it!
There are a couple things to remember though: each time a different person speaks is a new paragraph. For example:
“Hey, guys! Look!” Regina called, the two men looked out the back door to see a large collection of buildings.
“Is that it?” Rick shouted over the pilot’s serenading clamor.
“Yep, okay everyone let’s go!” Gail grabbed his parachute and ran towards the door, and suddenly he tripped over Regina’s boot.
I would also be careful of your tenses. It starts in the past tense, and then you wrote that Regina 'switches it back to the report'. Stick with one. ;)
Overall, I enjoyed it and look forward to your next update. :)
11Her Royal NonsenseNot bad for your second story, I liked it!
There are a couple things to remember though: each time a different person speaks is a new paragraph. For example:
“Hey, guys! Look!” Regina called, the two men looked out the back door to see a large collection of buildings.
“Is that it?” Rick shouted over the pilot’s serenading clamor.
“Yep, okay everyone let’s go!” Gail grabbed his parachute and ran towards the door, and suddenly he tripped over Regina’s boot.
I would also be careful of your tenses. It starts in the past tense, and then you wrote that Regina 'switches it back to the report'. Stick with one. ;)
Overall, I enjoyed it and look forward to your next update. :)
