for Ending An Old Tradition5/15 c7 
46StarlitDuck
I liked the reference to the old Mario 3 cartoon, as King Koopa had an allergy to being nice in that.
I find the advice that Roy gives interesting. Personally, I agree with the be nice tip that he gave. You have to treat the other person as a person, as opposed to an inanimate object. Girls tend to like guys who care about them.
Now, I noticed a few errors. For one, near the beginning of the chapter, you had a part where Junior's dialogue melded with Roy's. I was really confused when I read that, as I didn't realize that Junior was the one speaking until Roy responded. I would recommend you do a little bit if proofreading.
Overall though, you are doing a good job with this. Personally, I have a lot of fun writing Roy and his dialogue. In my stories, he is kind of an airheaded person with a big heart and a love for fighting. I can see traces of that here, which I appreciate.
46StarlitDuckI liked the reference to the old Mario 3 cartoon, as King Koopa had an allergy to being nice in that.
I find the advice that Roy gives interesting. Personally, I agree with the be nice tip that he gave. You have to treat the other person as a person, as opposed to an inanimate object. Girls tend to like guys who care about them.
Now, I noticed a few errors. For one, near the beginning of the chapter, you had a part where Junior's dialogue melded with Roy's. I was really confused when I read that, as I didn't realize that Junior was the one speaking until Roy responded. I would recommend you do a little bit if proofreading.
Overall though, you are doing a good job with this. Personally, I have a lot of fun writing Roy and his dialogue. In my stories, he is kind of an airheaded person with a big heart and a love for fighting. I can see traces of that here, which I appreciate.
4/27 c6 StarlitDuck
Woah, Celia is going to be in this? I think that could be interesting; seeing how you handle my OC.
Woah, Celia is going to be in this? I think that could be interesting; seeing how you handle my OC.
4/21 c5 StarlitDuck
Once again, I like the references to my work. I think you executed the tubular joke much better than I did. I also like how you have the names for the Koopalings that I have selected.
And I don't know if I said this before, but I really appreciate you doing this story overall. Thank you.
Once again, I like the references to my work. I think you executed the tubular joke much better than I did. I also like how you have the names for the Koopalings that I have selected.
And I don't know if I said this before, but I really appreciate you doing this story overall. Thank you.
3/30 c2 46StarlitDuck
I can see you did your research, which I really appreciate. Also, I completely understand you wanting to divert from the source material. :)
46StarlitDuckI can see you did your research, which I really appreciate. Also, I completely understand you wanting to divert from the source material. :)
3/28 c1 1Architect of Light 2
I'm definitely excited to see more. This is different from your other two stories, but I like it a lot.
1Architect of Light 2I'm definitely excited to see more. This is different from your other two stories, but I like it a lot.
3/23 c1 James Birdsong
Good. Nice
Good. Nice
3/23 c1 StandWillowFly
The intro alone doomed your story.
There’s no sympathizing with your plot when everything is one dimensional.
The intro alone doomed your story.
There’s no sympathizing with your plot when everything is one dimensional.
3/23 c1 Guest
Meh
Meh
3/23 c1 45mariobroultimate
So that’s why Junior looks exactly like his father when he was a kid. Interesting.
45mariobroultimateSo that’s why Junior looks exactly like his father when he was a kid. Interesting.
3/23 c1 46StarlitDuck
Wow, this is really good! I like the twists that you added, such as Bowser Jr having to ask because he is doing a homework assignment. I also like how you stayed faithful to the original, down to even adding in "What the World Eight" at the end. I really appreciate this, keep up the good work.
46StarlitDuckWow, this is really good! I like the twists that you added, such as Bowser Jr having to ask because he is doing a homework assignment. I also like how you stayed faithful to the original, down to even adding in "What the World Eight" at the end. I really appreciate this, keep up the good work.
