for Challenges of High School3/9 c3 KI
Couples going steady, terrific developing of the storylines! can't wait to read the next chapter!
Couples going steady, terrific developing of the storylines! can't wait to read the next chapter!
2/17 c2 Ki
Great chapter, really like it especially with the connection between Jan and Jay developing.
Great chapter, really like it especially with the connection between Jan and Jay developing.
2/17 c1 Ki
It's a great chapter it highlights how society can be different on the outside from the inside.
It's a great chapter it highlights how society can be different on the outside from the inside.
2/5/2019 c2 Guest
Good that Jay's friends shutted the bullies down when the going gets tough.
Sense a connection forming between Jay and Jan.
Will be good to read the next chapter.
Good that Jay's friends shutted the bullies down when the going gets tough.
Sense a connection forming between Jay and Jan.
Will be good to read the next chapter.
5/15/2018 c1 Guest
This chapter was good especially with the introductions of the new neighbours and them meeting the bradys.
This chapter was good especially with the introductions of the new neighbours and them meeting the bradys.
6/21/2017 c8 BBunchFanFicRev
Challenges of High School- 5.5/10
This story is in the perspective of a family that just moved in- Jay, Jenny, Jane, and... Robert. The grammar is OK but it tends to be long-winded and sound kind of like the author is just dropping words right and left. The autism sounds more like a PSA than real dialogue.
Are you “really good at sport”? Do you “bleed out blood”? This is my favorite line:
“I was in a yo yo competition last week at Tower mall, I came second you should give it a try, actually I can show you some tricks right now I got my yo yo here. This is called walking the dog,” brags Steve.
Also, Marcia seems to “laugh” or “frown” all her dialogue. When she swooned and fell into bed after her “groovy” date, I could picture it. Cindy acts like she is four instead of thirteen, squealing about puppies and everything. Some other things are anachronistic, like a girl named “Bella” and the word “bee-yatch”. And Marcia’s boyfriend is a jerk to Jay so she gets grounded for not being remorseful. Marcia wouldn’t have been that rude on the show…
The pacing is decent, for such a long story. There’s a whole Monopoly scene that’s longer than most of the stories I’ve read so far. The football game is a whole chapter.
“Pineapple pizza my favorite.” “Mmm,” hums Marcia.
Eight chapters. This story is eight chapters long. Save me.
Challenges of High School- 5.5/10
This story is in the perspective of a family that just moved in- Jay, Jenny, Jane, and... Robert. The grammar is OK but it tends to be long-winded and sound kind of like the author is just dropping words right and left. The autism sounds more like a PSA than real dialogue.
Are you “really good at sport”? Do you “bleed out blood”? This is my favorite line:
“I was in a yo yo competition last week at Tower mall, I came second you should give it a try, actually I can show you some tricks right now I got my yo yo here. This is called walking the dog,” brags Steve.
Also, Marcia seems to “laugh” or “frown” all her dialogue. When she swooned and fell into bed after her “groovy” date, I could picture it. Cindy acts like she is four instead of thirteen, squealing about puppies and everything. Some other things are anachronistic, like a girl named “Bella” and the word “bee-yatch”. And Marcia’s boyfriend is a jerk to Jay so she gets grounded for not being remorseful. Marcia wouldn’t have been that rude on the show…
The pacing is decent, for such a long story. There’s a whole Monopoly scene that’s longer than most of the stories I’ve read so far. The football game is a whole chapter.
“Pineapple pizza my favorite.” “Mmm,” hums Marcia.
Eight chapters. This story is eight chapters long. Save me.
2/7/2017 c8 josh van loot
great story Jay , there was a lot of jealousy between the girls and they could have been more mature about accepting one another .
you captured the moment real well , keep up the great story writing
great story Jay , there was a lot of jealousy between the girls and they could have been more mature about accepting one another .
you captured the moment real well , keep up the great story writing
12/4/2016 c2 Bridey
Good storyline continuing! cant wait to see what is going to develop further between Jay & Jan!
Good storyline continuing! cant wait to see what is going to develop further between Jay & Jan!
12/4/2016 c1 Anonymous
Really good interesting story line and can't wait to see what is next in store for Jay!
Really good interesting story line and can't wait to see what is next in store for Jay!
9/14/2016 c7 Damo
-!Spoiler alert!-
Another fantastic installment! I can't believe Lucas was so mean to Bella and STILL came crawling back. I'm really glad Bella had more self worth than to take him back; her and Bruce make a great couple. Can't wait for the next chapter! D.
-!Spoiler alert!-
Another fantastic installment! I can't believe Lucas was so mean to Bella and STILL came crawling back. I'm really glad Bella had more self worth than to take him back; her and Bruce make a great couple. Can't wait for the next chapter! D.
6/14/2016 c7 Josh
great story Jay your so good at this and i love the suspence too.
great story Jay your so good at this and i love the suspence too.
6/6/2016 c1 Tyson
Loved it. Very well written. Can't wait to read the next chapter to see how things work out for Jay!
Loved it. Very well written. Can't wait to read the next chapter to see how things work out for Jay!
4/4/2016 c6 Lauren
Awesome chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next!
Awesome chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next!
3/24/2016 c6 Mikaela
Wow what a change of events in this chapter! Lucas's 'ego' has certainly gotten the best of him unfortunately! Look forward to seeing what happens in the next Chapter! Great Work Jay :)
Wow what a change of events in this chapter! Lucas's 'ego' has certainly gotten the best of him unfortunately! Look forward to seeing what happens in the next Chapter! Great Work Jay :)
3/23/2016 c6 Anon
Another great chapter! It's a bit of a shame that Lucas turned out to be such a terrible person but I guess it could happen to anyone. I hope he comes to his senses.
I'm also pretty glad Westdale were able to overcome Woodside in their match!
Keep up the good work!
Another great chapter! It's a bit of a shame that Lucas turned out to be such a terrible person but I guess it could happen to anyone. I hope he comes to his senses.
I'm also pretty glad Westdale were able to overcome Woodside in their match!
Keep up the good work!
